Are You a Chicken or an Eagle?

It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times.  That's really how I could sum up 2021.  With the pandemic still in full effect and no REAL income coming in, it would have been easy for me to just give up and wait for everything to blow over.  But I'm not very good at waiting so I decided to reinvent myself via TikTok (@bevspeaks) with the help of my grandson.  And now, 400K followers later, this 60-something-year-old woman has created an Auntie Bev brand and is soaring to new heights.  

I refused to listen to the naysayers who told me I was too old for the platform or that no one would care what I had to offer.  I refused to allow my age to dictate how I would be perceived.  I chose to use my age as an advantage because with age comes something called wisdom. 

But what about you?  Are you living in your best OR worst of times of BOTH?

We all want to live life to our fullest potential. Nobody wants to struggle through life with less than what they could have achieved. Wouldn't it be the greatest shame that we live to the end of our lives wondering what it might have turned out like if we only followed our dream earlier in life.

There is this wonderful story about an eagle that illustrates this point well: 

Once upon a time, there was a large mountainside, where an eagle's nest rested. The eagle's nest contained four large eagle eggs. One day an earthquake rocked the mountain causing one of the eggs to roll down the mountain, to a chicken farm, located in the valley below. The chickens knew that they must protect and care for the eagle's egg, so an old hen volunteered to nurture and raise the large egg.

One day, the egg hatched and a beautiful eagle was born. Sadly, however, the eagle was raised to be a chicken. Soon, the eagle believed he was nothing more than a chicken. The eagle loved his home and family, but his spirit cried out for more. While playing a game on the farm one day, the eagle looked to the skies above and noticed a group of mighty eagles soaring in the skies. "Oh," the eagle cried, "I wish I could soar like those birds." The chickens roared with laughter, "You cannot soar with those birds. You are a chicken and chickens do not soar."

The eagle continued staring at his real family up above, dreaming that he could be with them. Each time the eagle would let his dreams be known, he was told it couldn't be done. That is what the eagle learned to believe. The eagle, after time, stopped dreaming and continued to live his life like a chicken. Finally, after a long life as a chicken, the eagle passed away. The moral of the story: You become what you believe you are; so if you ever dream to become an eagle follow your dreams, not the words of a chicken.

How often do we let ourselves be defined by other people, we let them determine our self worth whether we realize it or not. In order to live your full potential you must first believe you were born to be more than you are, you must believe it with such conviction that you follow your dream no matter how often you may be ridiculed or how often you stumble. For it is in the act of following ones dreams that your potential will be realized.

The worst thing that could happen in life is to wake up one day and realize too late that we have been held back from our dreams because we were too afraid to lift ourselves out of the chicken pen and from the small thinking people.  While they may mean well, some can only see possibilities through their limitations and not from your possibilities.

Frustration Sets You Up for Success

The outside world can invite you to become upset and frustrated.  It's up to you to decide whether to accept the invitation. 

I posted this quote on my Twitter page today after dealing with some frustration.  I won't go into details but I will say when you are in business for yourself your hardest hustle can still result in a weak or NO return.  The frustration kicks in when you believe you've done all you can to make things happen---but nothing happens and you're left shaking your head.  

I spent about 30 minutes on the frustration trail and then realized if I allowed that feeling to permeate in my spirit, the rest of my day would not go well so I had to change the channel of my mind and meditate on a quote from Tony Robbins:

All successful people know success is buried on the other side of frustration.  

I can go with that!  So why am I sharing this?  Because I know someone is going through something similar---if not more complicated than me.  I have learned a lot about me over the past several months and, believe me, not all of it has been good.

 

Here are my takeaways:

 

1)  Stop fighting with the noise inside your head:  The negative thoughts will keep you from moving forward.  Life itself is full of ups and downs.  You only make matters worst when  you keep harping on your "woe is me mentality."

 

2)  Learn to manage stress:  When I find myself slipping into a mental place I don't want to go to, I pray, read my bible or play some old-school, upbeat music.  It changes the channel of my mind and takes me to a happy place where I can rejuvenate and renew my spirit.

 

3)  Be around people and things that inspire you:  When I disconnected from social media (especially Facebook) I cut out more than 80 percent of the noise that was affecting my world.  I became overwhelmed with the "perceived" success of my friends.  When I stopped connecting online,  I found other things to inspire me like taking walks and doing more writing.  

 

4)  I am still resilient:  In my 60 plus years on this earth I have learned that I can bounce back after bad things happen and I am still employable.

 

When babies are learning to walk, they will fall many times before they finally gain the confidence to stand and walk on their own.  We all fail from time to time but it doesn't mean we are a total failure in life.  Failures are a part of life.  If you don't fail, you don't learn and if you don't learn you will never change.  

I am now choosing to muddle through my frustration because I am confident my success is on the other side.

Are You Running Out of Time or Money?

 

As most of my friends and I come closer to retirement, the questions looms:  Will we run out of money first or die without being able to spend it all?

According to a recent survey conducted by the Teachers Insurance Annuity Association of America (TIAA), more than half of all Americans (55 percent) believe they will run out of time before they get to do all of the things on their "bucket list." These people believe they have enough retirement savings to last them another 20-30 years and that's why they say they want to make retiring early a top priority  

On the other hand, 45 percent say they worry about running out of money and they say making savings last is their top priority.  Another 30 percent say the events of 2020 have negatively impacted their feelings about their retirement savings and, as a result, they have fallen behind in their retirement savings progress.

More than 70 percent of those surveyed believe it's important to have guaranteed lifetime income, such as an annuity, to make sure your essential expenses are covered and it will allow you to be more flexible in your spending.  So what is an annuity?  It is a long-term investment that is issued by an insurance company and designed to help protect you from the risk of outliving your income.  Learn more here:  Annuity

The top barriers of saving more for retirement include:

Outstanding debt

Low wages

More need for emergency funds

Other savings priorities

So where do you see yourself when it comes to retirement?  Do you think you'll run out of money or time? 

How to Handle a Hotter than Hell Summer

OK--the title of this blog post is misleading because I've never been to the hell Christians refer to if we don't get our lives right before we die.  But the point I'm making is, if "hell" is as hot as it is claimed to be, then what I (and many others) have been experiencing this Summer feels like "hotter than hell."

OK---moving on.

As someone who suffers from heart disease, I have to be extremely mindful of the time I spend outdoors because heat and heart disease just don't mix.  Hot weather puts stress on the heart because it has to work harder to beat faster and work harder.  I am at serious risk for heat stroke.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention there were more than 700 deaths between 2004-2018 and extreme heat sends more than 65,000 Americans to the ER annually.

So how can you avoid becoming a victim of extreme heat?  Here are some tips:

Stay hydrated:  If you're accustomed to drinking at least 32 ounces of water daily, add another 32 or 64 ounces to your daily regiment. Along with drinking water, eat food with a high water content like watermelon, cucumbers, cantaloupe, strawberries, spinach, zucchini and cabbage.

Wear light colored clothing:  Light-colored, loose fitting clothing allows air circulation and transfers heat away from the body.  You may also want to wear a visor or brimmed hat to help keep the sun from blazing on your face.

Limit your outdoor activities:  If you're a walker or runner, try getting up early in the morning to get your workout in.  You should also shorten the intensity and duration of your exercise and wear clothing suitable for the weather like a moisture-wicking fabric.  

Limit your alcohol intake:  Alcohol and heat just don't mix.

Stay informed:  If you're planning a workout or another outdoor activity, be sure to check the weather forecast the day before so you will have a sense of what you'll be up against and at what time(s).  A high humidity keeps sweat from evaporating as quickly, making humidity worse that dry heat.  Spending too much time in an environment with a high humidity can actually make you sick because bacteria and viruses that can cause illness thrive in air that's above 60 degrees in relative humidity. 

Stay safe, stay cool this Summer.

What Every High School Graduate Should Know (Or Learn)

 

Needless to say, graduating from high school looks a lot different in 2021 than it did when I graduated in 1975.  First of all, we weren't dealing with a pandemic.  I had only read about it in a history class.  Second, there were no computers so there was no such thing as virtual learning.  There are some things, however, that never change when moving on to the next stage of your life.  

For those leaving home and going to college, there will be some adjustments to be made.  No longer will mom and dad or the grandparents be at arm's length to pick up after your "mess" or do things you didn't even know they did because, after all, that's just what we do.  You will literally be on your own for the first time.  You will be totally responsible for your success or failure.

As a mother and a grandmother, let me offer some How to life skills to help guide you along the next phase of your journey:

HOME CARE:

Do Laundry:  You must know that you have to separate colors from whites so the colors don't "bleed" all over your nice white fabrics.  Now you might say, "I can just take my dirty clothes back home on the weekend to let mom wash them."  Yes, you could do that and mom would probably be happy to do it but at what point do you stop leaning on mom for things you should be old enough to take care of.   Mom (dad and grandparents) is there to help guide you into adulthood. 

Clean carpets, windows and toilets: (if you have to)  If you live in a dorm, the showers/bathrooms will become someone else's responsibility but it's always a good idea to get in the habit of cleaning for yourself.  If you decide to move out of the dorm and into your own apartment it is imperative that you know what it means to be a good housekeeper in addition to being a good student.  And if you have a roommate, you should set house cleaning ground rules from the beginning.  Once you get in the habit, you'll think nothing of it.

Iron clothes:  OK so you're thinking, "Who irons anymore?  Everything is permanent press.  Perhaps, however, a nicely pressed shirt/blouse with pants and skirt tells others you are well-groomed.  Believe me, Professors take note of your appearance as well as how you speak and write.  I always say we are judged on 4 things:  1)  How we look  2)  How we act  3)  How we speak  4)  How we write. 

STUDENT CARE: 

Know how to write an essay/research paper:  You'll be doing a lot of it in college so get prepared and don't ever be afraid to ask for help. Don't ever pay someone to write your papers for you.  You have to learn for yourself because writing will be a part of your life for the rest of your life.

Form Good Study Habits: Eliminate distractions by choosing an environment that will help you focus on your studies.  Find a good study buddy--someone who is as serious about their education and actually trying to graduate!

Maintain a Positive Mindset: Trust me, there will be times when you get completely frustrated and want to give up but keep reminding yourself why you're in college. And by all means, don't keep your frustrations bottled up inside of you because when you least expect it, you will explode.  Reach out to family for your life support.

PERSONAL CARE: 

Work on your conflict resolution skills.  In a perfect world, we would all get along and sing Kum Ba Ya but we all know there is nothing perfect about society.  You will be coming together will different types of personalities from different walks of life and not everyone is going to like you (or you them).  This is where your home training will kick in.  If your parents have taught you to be respectful of others, follow that golden rule.  If you get into a beef with someone (even if you didn't cause it), know how to apologize and walk away.  Remember your WHY for being in college.  On the other hand......

Defend Yourself:  Don't be a pushover and allow others to just walk all over you.  You don't have to be a bully but you can let people know (in a respectful way) that you don't tolerate foolishness.

Get Some Exercise:  I've always been told that a healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand.

Stay in Touch with Family and Friends Back Home:  They're your life support remember.

Stay Spiritually Connected:  All I have to say about this is, you will say "Lord Help Me!" "Help Me Jesus!" or "Lord, if you just help me get through this......" more than a few times over a four-year period.  I PROMISE YOU!  

There are plenty more life skills I could mention but I do believe these are the most important to get you started.  

Best of Luck to you!

Returning to the Job Market After 50 is a Wake Up Call

 When I left the news business, I was in my late forties. Now that I'm over 60  I see that so much has changed and I am having to learn how to adapt. I chose not to return to my chosen career of "established media" because, quite frankly, I no longer had the stomach for "breaking news" that starts out with A LOT of half-truths and stations always trying to out do the competition. Furthermore, I was no longer interested in going toe-to-toe with younger, less-talented journalists who always seem to have the advantage because of their "blondeness" and desire to work no matter how little the pay.

These days I'm working part-time as a Writing Tutor for college students.  While I absolutely LOVE what I do, the challenge is dealing with young people who come to the table thinking they know as much as you and don't particularly like being told their writing needs drastic improvement.   As I travel through this leg of my journey I am learning a lot about getting back in the game even on a part-time basis. 

Here are some things for you to consider if you are thinking about returning to the job market:

HAVE A CLEAR OBJECTIVE: Know why you are returning to the workforce. To make ends meet is one thing but you should also be thinking about what you would like to accomplish while in your position. Just going through the motions of working from 9 to 5 (or whenever) will ultimately make you unhappy and could lead to your untimely termination. 


Understand this: THE JOB MARKET HAS CHANGED: Not only are many of the employees half our age, but some of them may end up being our supervisors. I've been in that situation.  Some of my previous managers were just a few years older than my 31-year-old daughter and, honestly, it was hard to appreciate and see them as my superiors but THEY WERE and if I was going to succeed I was going to have to accept that fact and act accordingly.

HAVE SOME MARKETABLE SKILLS!:  Just because you spent 20-30 years with one Company and worked your way up to middle-management doesn't mean you are qualified for any available job.  As I said before, the market has changed and you will have to learn to adapt to the times.  Since the pandemic, more employers are looking to hire remotely.  That means you will need to be up to speed on how to deal with technology and be able to troubleshoot any technical problems that may arise because, trust me, trouble will happen! 

ACQUIRE NEW SKILLS:  If you see a job that captures your interest and you know you don't have the necessary skill requirements, find a course at your local community college to help you obtain the skillset necessary.  If you have children or grandchildren who are tech savvy, don't be afraid to ask them.  I'm always my grandson how to do something because I know he knows and he gets a kick out of helping his grandma.

LEARN TO BE HUMBLE: I've always been a take charge person so it isn't easy for me to sit back in a subservient role as I am currently having to do. Quite frankly, humility as an employee is something I'm still working on but I do keep my devotional reading with me at all times to remind me of WHOSE I am so I don't get it twisted and end up saying things I will live to regret. 

If you have aspirations beyond the job, you will have to learn to swallow your pride, know-how and "I can do it better than you!" attitude sometimes for the greater good. 

BE WILLING TO ACCEPT LESS MONEY: The job market today is what I call an "employers' market." They can get away with paying less money for employees because the market is saturated with young, hungry professionals who just want to get a foot in the door so they can begin to navigate their way throughout the company. For many baby boomers, like myself, we have been accustomed to the nice, comfortable salaries that afforded us the opportunities to have beautiful homes, a sizable bank account and take fabulous vacations. That is no longer the case. You must be willing to accept the going rate but I would caution you to NEVER accept minimum wage because it devalues your skills and abilities---especially if you have 20 to 30 years of talent and skills to bring to the table. 

KEEP SAVING FOR RETIREMENT:  Even though you many not be accustomed to making less, you still have to be mindful of your retirement.  If you're working for a company that offers a 401K and you're eligible, take advantage of it and invest in it during your entire employment.  

GET A SIDE HUSTLE:  This may not be for everyone but if you are thinking about retirement (and you definitely should be!), then you should look for a gig that can pay you some extra cash.  I recommend checking out Fiverr and see how you can put some of your "other skills" to use.  

HAVE A CLEAR EXIT PLAN: Going back to work is serious business for those of us who are more mature than the average employee. Know why you are returning and have a plan for an exit. Working indefinitely without a plan or purpose only leads to frustration.

Will You Have to Work in Your Retirement Years?

 

The news is not looking good if you take stock in a new survey regarding retirement.  According to research conducted by GoBankingRates.Com, 1 in 5 Americans fear they may never be able to stop working because there won't be enough money to live on.  Although the survey doesn't address why these fears exist, is is safe to say lower wage-paying jobs and fewer job opportunities are having a significant impact.  What should also be duly noted here is the fact that, because of a tight job market, you may find Millennials and older adults competing for the same jobs.

Baby Boomers, between the ages of 55-64 reflect the largest group that is skeptical of being able to leave the workforce at retirement age (27 percent), followed by Generation Y (25 percent) and Millennials (20 percent).

In addition to retirement woes, those surveyed are also worried about:

1)  Living paycheck to paycheck

2)  Living in debt forever

3)  Losing their jobs

4)  Losing all of their money in the stock market

5) Never being able to afford a home

6) Always having a low credit score

When it comes to gender, more women than men fear living from paycheck to paycheck, while more men are worried they will never be able to retire.  Both men and women say their least fear is always having a low credit score.

If you break it down by region, it appears people living in the South have the greatest fears of never being able to retire and always living from paycheck to paycheck----in comparison to people in the Northeast whose biggest fear is living in debt forever.

What are some of your biggest financial fears as you age?