This is a Top Ten List I saw on the website of my good friend and fellow Boomer Diva Nation member, babyboomerqueen.
10. Cats’ facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
1. Other women
***I decided to alter that list and create one of my own for my fellow baby boomer women***
10. What it means to have a bad hair day
9. The need for flat-heeled shoes
8. How to make leftovers taste better than the original meal
7. How to make fat clothes look chic
6. The difference between fat and pleasantly plump
5. What is means to have a "personal summer"
4. What it means to be uappreciated even when you give your all.
3. How to make aging look good
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
1. What it means to have a real girlfriend
Please feel free to add to this..........
Showing posts with label "boomer humor". Show all posts
Showing posts with label "boomer humor". Show all posts
Friday, June 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
You Know You're a Baby Boomer If...(Part II)
You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.
Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language.
A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid.
You remember the Flinstones in Primetime.
You grew up with neighbors you actually knew by first and last name.
You had a rotary dial telephone.
You weren't considered fashionable if you didn't own a pair of black & white saddle shoes or a pair of stride rites.
Good TV reception came with a pair of pliers and a coat hanger.
There was such a thing as penny candy--and you could always stock up.
You remember the oil crisis in 1973--which resulted in the price of oil per barrel to rise from $3.00 to $12.00 (The price of gas was $0.24 in 1957--the year I was born).
If you're still making the hand gestures every time you hear the Y.M.C.A. Song.
You know you're a baby boomer if garters were how you held up your hose. (Thanks to @LeslieLSC from Twitter)
Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language.
A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid.
You remember the Flinstones in Primetime.
You grew up with neighbors you actually knew by first and last name.
You had a rotary dial telephone.
You weren't considered fashionable if you didn't own a pair of black & white saddle shoes or a pair of stride rites.
Good TV reception came with a pair of pliers and a coat hanger.
There was such a thing as penny candy--and you could always stock up.
You remember the oil crisis in 1973--which resulted in the price of oil per barrel to rise from $3.00 to $12.00 (The price of gas was $0.24 in 1957--the year I was born).
If you're still making the hand gestures every time you hear the Y.M.C.A. Song.
You know you're a baby boomer if garters were how you held up your hose. (Thanks to @LeslieLSC from Twitter)
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Halloween: Baby Boomer Style
As you know, Halloween is just around the corner. Remember when you were a kid and you dressed up in your favorite costume?
If I invited you over to my house for a Baby Boomer Halloween Party, what or who would you come dressed as? Pick a favorite cartoon or storybook character from your past or your favorite actor/actress and tell us why you picked them.
I'll start:
If I'm having hot flashes, I'll come as Annie Oakley because she carried a gun! Otherwise, I would probably come as Little Bo Peep. I loved those puffed fancy dresses and I know I'd look really cute in one--plus it hides fat :)
If I invited you over to my house for a Baby Boomer Halloween Party, what or who would you come dressed as? Pick a favorite cartoon or storybook character from your past or your favorite actor/actress and tell us why you picked them.
I'll start:
If I'm having hot flashes, I'll come as Annie Oakley because she carried a gun! Otherwise, I would probably come as Little Bo Peep. I loved those puffed fancy dresses and I know I'd look really cute in one--plus it hides fat :)
Friday, August 15, 2008
A Baby Boomer's Life in Corporate America
My girlfriend sent me this email today, along with a note asking me if I would be a character witness if she had to stand trial for murder.
That told me she was having a ROUGH day on the job with her thirty-something "know-it-all" boss. I've been there---done that---and even wrote a book about it so I can feel her pain. What's a poor baby boomer to do when they have to put up with a boss who knows less but gets paid more?
In the meantime, here's the email she sent me:
PRISON
You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell
WORK
You spend most of your time in a 6X6 cubicle
PRISON
You get three fully paid for meals a day
WORK
You get a break for one meal,and you have to pay for it
PRISON
For good behavior, you get time off
WORK
For good behavior, you get more work
PRISON
The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you
WORK
You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself
PRISON
You can watch TV and play games
WORK
You could get fired for watching TV and playing games
PRISON
You get your own toilet
WORK
You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat
PRISON
They allow your family and friends to visit
WORK
You aren't even supposed to make personal calls on the phone. And don't even think about sending an email!
PRISON
All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required on your part
WORK
You must pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners
PRISON
You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out
WORK
You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars
PRISON
You must deal with sadistic wardens
WORK
They are called 'managers'
That told me she was having a ROUGH day on the job with her thirty-something "know-it-all" boss. I've been there---done that---and even wrote a book about it so I can feel her pain. What's a poor baby boomer to do when they have to put up with a boss who knows less but gets paid more?
In the meantime, here's the email she sent me:
PRISON
You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell
WORK
You spend most of your time in a 6X6 cubicle
PRISON
You get three fully paid for meals a day
WORK
You get a break for one meal,and you have to pay for it
PRISON
For good behavior, you get time off
WORK
For good behavior, you get more work
PRISON
The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you
WORK
You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself
PRISON
You can watch TV and play games
WORK
You could get fired for watching TV and playing games
PRISON
You get your own toilet
WORK
You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat
PRISON
They allow your family and friends to visit
WORK
You aren't even supposed to make personal calls on the phone. And don't even think about sending an email!
PRISON
All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required on your part
WORK
You must pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners
PRISON
You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out
WORK
You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars
PRISON
You must deal with sadistic wardens
WORK
They are called 'managers'
Monday, June 23, 2008
The Dead DO Count
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )
After they get the fax:
Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank : 'That might help.'
Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member : 'What do you do with dead people on your planet???
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )
After they get the fax:
Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank : 'That might help.'
Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member : 'What do you do with dead people on your planet???
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