Millennials and Digital Dating Abuse

As the mother of a Millennial, I became concerned when I read the results of the annual Truth About Abuse Survey conducted by Mary Kay.  Yes, I'm talking about the same Mary Kay Company that created an empire by making women of all ages look beautiful and developed many entrepreneurs who show off their financial success with their trademark pink cars.

The survey implies there is a new epidemic spreading among our young people and it's called Digital Dating Abuse.  So exactly what is this type of abuse?  According to The Women's Freedom Center website, Digital Dating Abuse is "a form of verbal and/or emotional abuse, which can include unwanted repeated calls or text messages, pressure to send nude or private pictures or videos, and the use of social media networking sites to bully, harass, stalk or intimidate a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Some of the signs of digital dating abuse include a boyfriend or girlfriend who:

• Tells you who you can or cannot be friends with on Facebook or other sites
• Sends you negative, unwanted, insulting or even threatening email, Facebook messages, tweets or other online messages
• Uses social media sites to keep constant tabs on you and constantly criticizing you
•   Looks through your phone frequently, checks up on your pictures, texts and outgoing calls.  

• According to the Mary Kay survey, 1 in 4 young people say they have personally experienced digital dating abuse.  So if you are a parent reading this, that means your adult daughter could very well be a victim or the young adult of one of your friends. 

• 69 percent of young people believe their peer group is more likely to tolerate abusive behavior online than in person.
• 60 percent say they would not tell a parent or guardian if they were experiencing digital dating abuse.
• 76 percent of college students say they have been victims of abuse, compared to 61 percent of high school students.

The 2017 survey is part of Mary Kay's Don't Look Away campaign which works to educate the public on recognizing the signs of an abusive relationship.  

Parents BEWARE! 

Boomers with Health Issues May Be Unlucky at Love

If you're single with Shingles, high blood pressure, arthritis or some other aging-related health issue, your chances don't look too good when it comes to finding romance.  That's because a survey conducted by the online dating site OurTime.com has revealed more than 50 percent singles over the age of 55 say they would not date someone with health problems.

That would surely rule me out of the dating pool since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure at the age of 49.  Fortunately, my husband chose not to make it an issue since he married me the following year.

But never fear, if you don't look all that hot with your aging face and body, that's OK because, according to the same survey, 68 percent of adults age 55 and older say they would be willing to date someone they felt was less attractive.  

Other key points of the survey:

Some 70 percent of men and 59 percent of women say they are willing to date people of other religions.

65 percent of people 55 or older said dating more than one person at the same time was fine.

60 percent said they would date someone outside party lines.

46 percent of adults 55+ said they were open to dating someone of a different race

Where do you fall in line with this survey?

Baby Boomers Looking to God for a Hook Up

If you're over the age and 40 and still single, chances are you have probably considered online dating as an alternative to finding a good mate. But which site(s) do you consider?

The fact that more and more baby boomers have gotten into the online dating game has created a million dollar industry for a number of sites like Match.com and eHarmony.com, to name a couple.

Now it appears another dating site has sprouted up and directly targeting the Christian community. In a recent press release, ChristianMingle.com announced that nearly two million singles joined ChristianMingle this year in hopes of finding God’s match for them. Now, with over 5 million registered members, ChristianMingle is the largest and fastest growing online community for Christian singles.

“ChristianMingle believes that marriage is important, but also that relationships and community are important,” said Matthew Barnett, ChristianMingle Advisory Board member and lead pastor of Angelus Temple. “ChristianMingle serves as a great resource for singles looking for companionship in like-minded Christians who share the same belief system and interests.”

Online dating through ChristianMingle is a targeted, self-selecting experience, based on the premise that Christianity is central to whom a person is and, therefore, the driving force behind what Christians look for in a potential mate.

So whoever thinks the internet is the devil's playground may need to think again.

Can Baby Boomers Find Love More than Once?

Chapter Two of my Book Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age deals with the subject of dating at middle age. I was single when I wrote it but am happy to report that I have since re-married. And guess what? We met online! So I say YES, baby boomers can find love and happiness with a new soul mate.

Here's my excerpt:

"My guy also had to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation about any subject, rock my world in the bedroom, enjoy working out (and have the physique to prove it), and appreciate my knowledge of sports. Because my job required me to make numerous public appearances, I had to insist on being in the company of a man who would make me look even better.

When I discovered none of those eligible bachelors were ready to settle down and I was, I had to switch gears and change strategies for finding a husband. I compare my experience to a shopping trip. I started out in the bargain basement. The men I met were either so cheap or broke that they wouldn’t even meet me halfway on a dutch-treat date.

As I became a more sophisticated shopper, I moved up to what I thought was a better chain. These were the men who would shower me with nice things but always, and I mean ALWAYS, expected something in return. And they didn’t believe in the layaway plan.

Then, bingo! I thought I hit the jackpot when I went upscale.
I thought I had found a true gem, only to discover years later that it was a cubic zirconia—an imitation of the real thing. I was convinced I was in the right department, but I picked out the wrong merchandise.

That was then."

I'm going to be in Baltimore, MD for a book signing and workshop on Saturday, August 18. Hope to see you there!