What Kind of Parent are You?

 

Parenting seems to have changed quite a bit since I was a child.  My parents weren't trying to be my friend.  They were, what you might call, traditional parents.  Traditional parenting is inflexible and rigid and riddled with discipline. The focus is to raise responsible and functional adults with good manners, proper education, and worth ethic. 

Today there is something called "modern parenting" where there is more of a focus of nurturing, involvement, and allowing children to express their individuality freely. Today, many parents are much closer to their children in age and  many children are growing up in single-family homes.  According to statistics from the Pew Center, the U.S. has the world's highest of number of children living in single-parent households. 

So the question is:  What kind of parent are you when it comes to raising your children?

Helicopter Parent:  These are parents who hover over their children and continue to do so through college (and even beyond in some cases).  These parents are over-involved and may be the reason their children don't develop a level of maturity needed to achieve success.  They know if they fail they can always return home and free-load.  

Lawnmower Parent:  These are the parents who "mow down" a path for their children by removing all obstacles that may cause discomfort, challenges or struggles.  These parents go out of their way to help their children and they believe their children can do no wrong.  These are parents who will do whatever it takes to help their children achieve success---even when the child may not be interested.  Remember actresses Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman, who paid specific colleges to get their daughter's admitted?  Those are definitely lawnmower parents.

Tiger Parent:  These are the parents who push their children to achieve excellence in academics.  They limit their leisure time in order to make sure their child is a high achiever in the classroom so they won't have any problem getting into the University of their choice (and usually it's the college of the PARENT'S choice.  They expect their child to stay focused at all times and giving up is never an option.

Free Range Parent:  These are the free-spirited parents who give their children freedom to explore and to establish their own independence.  These are parents who see their children as friends as they get older and don't have a problem socializing with their friends to show how "cool" they are.  These parents also tend to be less than 20 years older than their children.  Meanwhile, there are some psychologists who believe this type of parenting style is dangerous because it lacks structure.

So what type of parent are you?

Parents are Raising Mean Kids

Nearly 80 percent of moms believe kids today are less kind than in past generations, according to a recent PARENTS 2020 Values Survey. So if that is, in fact, the case the question is why?  Perhaps it's because parents are not instilling the kind of values in their children to make them kind-hearted, grateful for the little things, respectful of others, etc. Or maybe it's because the parents raising today's generation of children never learned the true meaning of kindness from their own parents.  Ironically, in this same survey more than half of the moms rate their parenting abilities as either excellent (13 percent) or very good (38 percent), while just 1 percent say their parenting skills are poor or very poor.  Kudos to the one percent because I believe they were telling the truth!

Also noted in the survey was the fact that 65 percent of moms say that kids today are less happier than kids of previous generations and they blame it on technology, social media addiction, bullying and undefined parental issues. But then, the next question is what are parents doing about that?  How do you blame technology for your child's unhappiness if you're not spending any quality time with them?  Have any ground rules or limitations been established for social media time?  When it comes to my grandson, he knows his phone will be taken away at any given moment (for at least 24 hours) should be choose to misbehave or not get his schoolwork done.  As far as bullying goes, Bullying experts say kids who go out of their way to intimidate others are often neglected by their parents in the home so they lash out to get attention or, even worse, they learn first-hand what it means to be a bully from a parent who also has that reputation.  

Moms were asked to select the top three qualities they most hope to instill in their children:

1. Kindness (73 percent)

2. Love of family (68 percent)

3. Intelligence (51 percent)

4. Strong work ethic (51 percent)

5. Individuality (31 percent)

When those moms were asked what THEIR parents valued most for them, this is how they responded:

1. Having a family of my own (64 percent)

2. Having close family ties (63 percent)

3. Being better off financially than they were (57 percent)

4. Getting a college degree (49 percent)

I might point out that "kindness" isn't on the moms' list of values from their parents so that may explain a whole lot.  You can't teach what you've never learned.

More Baby Boomers Going Childless

Fifty years ago, having a big family might have been considered more of the norm than unusual. But for the baby boomer generation today, the trend is changing. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the percentage of families with their own child living at home decreased to 46 percent in 2008, from 52 percent in 1950, according to new data from the U.S. Census Bureau.

The data gathered by the Census Bureau indicates the aging of the population and changing fertility patterns are the reasons for the decreases in the percentage of families with their own child under 18 at home.

In 1950, 52 percent of family households had their own child under 18. During the years when the baby boomers were young, this percentage increased, reaching 57 percent in the early 1960s. In 2008, however, when the baby boomers were about ages 44 to 62, and likely to be householders themselves, the percentage of families with a child had declined to 46 percent.

Among the factors that contributed to the decrease in the percentage of family households with children under 18:

• As adults live longer, a larger proportion of married couple households will be those who are older and either childless, or whose adult children live elsewhere. In 1968, 29 percent of married men were age 55 and over, as were 22 percent of married women. In 2008, 38 percent of married men were 55 and over, as were 33 percent of married women.

• Increases in childlessness — The percentage of women age 40 to 44 who were childless increased from 10 percent in 1976 to 20 percent in 2006.

From the Baby Boomers to the Babies: Passing the Torch

After my 11-month-old, I-can-walk-now grandson and I returned from the gym, we sat on the sofa while I flipped through the television channels trying to find something entertaining to hold his attention.

Lo and behold, on one of the cartoon networks there was a cartoon from MY PAST. If you're a baby boomer, you must remember Magilla Gorilla. I used to love that cartoon! When I was a little girl, it used to come on TV on a Wednesday evening (I believe) around 7:30pm. That's when prime time television was truly devoted to the kids.

I think I was more into the show than my grandson---although he did watch it. But what really caught his attention was The Secret Squirrel. Remember that one? It came on right after Magilla Gorilla. And then there was another favorite: Top Cat

After a strenuous workout in the gym, I found myself in 7th Heaven as I sat laughing at the cartoons. What a joy to be able to share a part of my childhood with my precious grandson! Now that's what you call PRICELESS!

A Baby Boomer Diva's Look at Mother's Day

This is my 17th year as a mother. I've sure seen a lot of changes over the holiday years. I can recall my first Mother's Day as if it were yesterday. My ex and I were watching a basketball game on TV with our little one on the floor. Without warning, she just rolled over. Now for those of you who are parents, you know the significance of having your child roll over. It's another stage in their development. I was so excited---but my ex seemed to be more excited about the basketball game.

I remember the WORST mother's day present I ever received. It was an iron and a six piece glassware set. I don't know what message my ex though he was sending by giving me that but I certainly never used it to iron his clothes and the glasses ended up getting broken accidentally.

After all of these years, I kept every card my daughter ever gave me. I still have the ceramic ash tray she made for me in pre-school.

This year is the first year I am a mom to someone else's kids. My new husband has two grown children from his first marriage. I didn't expect them to call me to wish me a Happy Mother's day--although it would've been a nice gesture.

This is also the first year I am a grandma--ma---As my daughter is now celebrating her very first Mother's Day.

I hope she will find her own experiences something to remember and to write about.

Two-Time Super Bowl Champion will Judge Mother's Day Contest

Two-time Super Bowl champion (from the San Francisco 49ers) and Hollywood actor Dwight Hicks will be one of the judges for the "Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This" contest.

Hicks, who is best known for being a part of one of the best defensive backfields of all-time, is now making his mark in Hollywood with an acting career. But he still managed to find time by helping this fellow baby boomer by judging the Mother's Day contest.

Will YOUR ESSAY be the one he likes the best? You won't know if you don't enter. The other judges are:

In 800 words or LESS, write an essay about one warning in particular your mother gave you when you were younger but you failed to heed her advice and found out later that she was RIGHT all along. For example, she may have told you not to date a certain person but you did anyway and after a while you realized it was a mistake and you could hear your mother saying "I told you so!" Tell your story. It can be humorous or very serious. How you tell it will be more important than what the actual warning was. Entry deadline is May 9.

For a list of prizes, visit my website: http://www.beverlymahone.com


Other judes are:
Best Selling Author Linda Alexander
Gospel Recording Artist Jennifer Evans