Be Careful What You Pray For

First of all, let me make one thing perfectly clear right from the start: Not all marriages are ordained by God. That’s my opinion. Just because you pray for a husband DOES NOT MEAN you will receive your “Prince Charming.” It just means that God will grant your request to get married and have a husband because that’s what you said you wanted and because He loves you. That’s where many women make their first mistake. When we pray, we must be SPECIFIC in our request.

Praying for a man will get you a man but will he be the RIGHT man? Praying for a man with a job might be a good start but what other qualities should he have? Tall, Dark and Handsome? Good Provider? Loving and affectionate? Sense of humor? Loves kids? How does he treat his mother? What is he passionate about? Does he place God above everyone and everything else?

The first time around I got just what I asked for simply because I didn’t know I could pray to God and ask for exactly what I wanted. God did His part by granting my request. But as I grew older and wiser I discovered I had prayed for the wrong things and then I had to turn around and pray to get out of the mess.

The second mistake women make is thinking you can change him once you get him. If God hasn’t changed him yet, what makes you think you can?

Today I am so happy to say I got it right this time. I have a wonderful, new husband but I didn’t pray for him in the conventional sense. This time I asked God to create a new creature in me with a renewed spirit so that I would be deserving of a good husband and God did just what He promised and granted my request.

I’m just a baby boomer in love!

A Baby Boomer in Love

This time last year I was preparing for a trip that would change my life forever. This was the second-trip-of-its-kind for me, but somehow I felt I was going to have an entirely new experience.

You know how it is when you go on trips. You’re looking to have fun----with no stress. My first trip started out just fine….maybe because I stayed in the dark most of the time. But my wise old mama always had a saying for everything and this one was “What you do in the dark will eventually come to light!” Oh yeah, she pounded that nail right on the head. That first trip was a TRIP from Hell.

My second trip wasn’t quite as exciting. There were no frills---no bells and whistles or white doves hovering over. I think as you get older, the fancy, frivolous stuff isn’t as important as the quality and real meaning of the trip itself.

The beautiful thing today is I feel just as happy and excited about the second trip as if it happened just yesterday. This week my “new” husband and I are celebrating our first year anniversary. We’ve gone through quite a lot over the past year but through it all we have persevered and God has truly been the glue to keep us together. It’s a beautiful thing to be a baby boomer in love.

A Baby Boomer Diva Butterball? Whatever!

Yesterday after church a woman named Lois came up to me and complimented me on my appearance. She said she noticed I had lost weight. I thanked her for noticing and explained that I have been working on dropping some pounds. I told her I had lost about five pounds. She thought it was more than that and then went on to tell me I had turned into a little "butterball" so losing any weight was obviously noticeable.

WELL!!! So that's what I've been looking like to the general public? A little butterball! Funny no one else said anything before. Maybe they were just trying to spare my feelings because you know how sensitive some of us women can be about weight issues. But this particular baby boomer diva didn't bite her tongue or mince words---she just came right out and said what she thought.

Although Lois and I have been attending the same church for years, we became friends after my book "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age" was released. She bought a copy and said she's read it about four or five times. Bless her heart.

I told her how I had changed my eating habits and about going to the gym and participating in the fitness boot camp.

On the way home from church I told my husband what she said and he was surprised at her comment. But then I asked him to BE HONEST and tell me if he thought I had gained alot of weight. And then he confessed that I had packed on some pounds since we first met six years ago but his love for me wasn't measured by how much I weighed.

Awww...that was sweet. But I do thank Lois for keepin' it real.

To Drink or Not to Drink

How many times have you seen someone order a fast food meal, loaded with calories, and then turn around and order a diet drink? Maybe you've even done it yourself. What is the point of the diet drink? Is it to fulfill a craving for the "taste" of a soda? Why is it so hard to order a cup of water?

Our drinking habits can be just as bad as out eating habits.

I'm sure you've heard it before----alcohol, no matter what form it comes in---packs on the calories. Coupled with the bloating that never seems to go away, you also have a tendency to eat more when you drink alcohol.

Studies may say a little red wine is good for your heart but a "little" wine every day can add up and before you know it, that "little" dress that used to fit you so nicely will become a tight squeeze.

The same goes for soda. It is loaded with sugar and let's not mention all of the damage it could do to your insides over time. I'm personally not going to drink something I know can remove acid or corrosion off of a car battery.

There is nothing better than water...and when you add a freshly squeezed lemon, you've got yourself a real treat. I recommend you go to this website and read up on the benefits of water and you just might not want to drink soda again: http://www.watercure.com

One more thing...if you're going out for a night on the town, eat something first and try sipping not gulping down your favorite drink....even if someone else is buying.

Late-Night Snacking

One of the worst things you can do to sabotage your weight loss goals is to eat late at night. That was a major problem for me for years because of my work schedule. Even though I ate my “dinner” at work, I would still be hungry when I came home and found myself snacking on more food. Sometimes I would actually make an entirely new “dinner”, watch TV for awhile and then go to sleep. That is a big NO-NO!

If you must snack later in the evening, why not choose a fresh piece of fruit instead of the potato chips and ice cream. Some people argue that they just don’t have a taste for fruit and if that’s the case, well don’t worry about it. Just start preparing yourself to buy a whole new wardrobe---a size (or maybe two) bigger.

And while you're just sitting there snacking you can read my book, "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age."

Eating at Your Desk

Unhealthy Habit #3


When I worked in TV news, I made it a habit of sitting at my desk and eating because I didn't want to miss any "breaking news." Sometimes I felt guilty about going to the bathroom because there were no news scanners in there and I needed to know what was going on 24/7.

Where did my fat spread? To my stomach, hips and behind because I wasn't moving around after I ate. If you do choose to eat at your desk, it is imperative that you find some time during the day (or evening) to exercise--if it's nothing more than a walk. But if you continue to take in more than you burn off that only equates into FAT.

Also, studies have shown that if you eat at your desk or on your living room sofa or even in your bed for that matter---you're inclined to eat more because there's no designated time or reason for you to get up from that spot. How many times have you ever sat in front of your TV and ate a whole bag of chips (or at least HALF of the bag) or pigged out on ice cream right out of the carton?
When you designate your kitchen as the place you will sit and eat, you're less likely to overeat.

Going to a restaurant for the all you can eat buffet, however, is another story!

Your Eyes are Bigger than Your Stomach

Remember when you were a child and your mother told you to eat all of your food because it was good for you? And she also reminded you how fortunate you were to have food on your plate because there were poor children in Biafra who didn’t have anything to eat.

Well, you’re all grown up now and while it’s important to maintain a healthy, nutritious diet, there is no need to CLEAN YOUR PLATE. That means it’s unnecessary to pile on all you can eat because “it just looks so delicious” and then go out of your way to finish it all. Calories add up---especially at middle age---while your metabolism is continuing to slow down. If you’re taking in more than you’re burning off, you could easily see an extra 5-10 pounds in a matter of months.

More fruits and vegetables are definitely the way to go. Why not try color-coded days by eating only fruits and vegetables of a certain color. For example: On Monday, make it a green day and eat all vegetables and fruits that are green in color. For lettuce, I would recommend a mixed green variety because plain lettuce has no nutritional value. On Tuesday, you could do a red day and so on and so forth.

Today, I decided to do a mix and match day: purple and red so I’m loading up on the blueberries, strawberries, and watermelon.

Got Fat?

Are you one of those women fighting the battle of the bulge? Well, if it's any consolation, you'll be glad to know you're not alone. Thousands of middle-aged women can attest to the fact that they've put on a few extra pounds. Some, like me, are trying to SQUEEZE into clothes that don't fit anymore instead of accepting the fact that it's time to go up a dress size or two.

I'm going to spend some time blogging about Women's Heath---starting with the 7 unhealthy habits that keep you from losing weight:

#1 SKIPPING BREAKFAST: If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Still, many of us skip it because we think it will help use lose unwanted pounds. But get this: that bad habit actually adds pounds. Studies have found that by skipping breakfast (or any other meal for that matter), your body is storing fat because it thinks you are starving and is trying to keep a "reserve" for you.

Now I don't know about you, but that's NOT the kind of favor I want my body to do for me so I guess I'm off to eat a mango.

Be sure to stop by tomorrow for Bad Habit #2

The Baby Boomer Diva Web of SHAME

This post is necessary because of an experience I had earlier this week with the general public in Durham, NC. I have to say this was the one time when I was never more angry to be a part of this community. The term "Southern Hospitality" has become a joke because I certain haven't been able to find any here lately. OK, let me cut to the chase.

On Monday I was on my way to pick up my daughter when, for some unknown reason, my husband's 2004 navy blue Sebring with Maryland tags just shut off while I was stopped at the traffic light at the interesection of Lynn Road and US 70. I was attempting to turn right at the time. My car woes created somewhat of a traffic tie up but guess what? The police drove by---a sheriff's deputy drove by and several other cars and NO ONE stopped. Instead, they chose to drive around my car, with my flashers on and infant grandchild in the car, and continue on to their destinations. It didn't matter that I was stopped in the dead of the hot sun with no shade in sight. A couple of people had the nerve to wave as they were trying to maneuve around me. Some even had disgusted looks on their faces as if I intentionally created the traffic jam.

WHATEVER!

I thought that was as good a time as any to have a little talk with God. I wanted to know why no one was stopping to help me because I always seem to go out of my way to help others when I see them broken down on the side of the road. My daughter cringes every time I do it but I try to explain the good feeling I get when I help someone else.

More than 50 cars and trucks passed by and in my frustration I decided to write down the license plates. Chances are the owners of these vehicles won't read this blog because they're too busy trying to get to one destination or another or they probably don't even know what their license plate number is. Do you?

So if you read and recognize the license plate number, let them know they've been formally inducted into this Baby Boomer Diva's Web of SHAME:

SRD 8957; WTJ 8555; RVD 8673; WSJ2871; HRX 7089; RPJ 5963; LRE 8059; MNR 5609; HSS 6797; DEAD-I-2; RTT 5164; SWT 9042; TZC 6286; VXX 5562; VSS 9177; WSJ 2672; HTC 7839; VWV 8834; VSY 9234; RWF 3326; RVD 8673; VTD 5017; LSL 7886; 3XSA209 (CA plates); RTT 5164; TZN 9903; TZC 3906; MWE 6523; CVD 1669; TPA 2531; HEDWELLS; PBE & COE; WNA 8032; PNR 4765; VRJ 7709; SWT 9141; KXX 6925; WPR 6015; LPK 9798; LRE 9995; VPH 5512; VZZ 35; SWT 9141; JTA 5786; VWJ 2169; WSY 7307; LSL 7886; VZZ 3557; VX7757; WPR 1410; WSJ 3725; WSJ 4620; WPV 5677; SURVIVOR 5; VRT 6725; VZY 8570; SZH 6882; WPB 8466; VSS 5415; SWT 8206; JWF 4290; VRW 3745; VPC 5159; VSS 6954; WXB 1842; VRX 1470; VSS 7669

Now, I must also tell you that God did answer me. He sent an unidentified woman in a red camaro who volunteered to go pick up my daughter; He sent a passenger who was riding in a White Ford Taurus---license plate # TXN 8963---to singlehandedly push my car to the side of the road---and finally, He sent a tow truck.

One of the things my daughter said is, "It's hard to be nice to others when you see how they treat you in times of your own distress." And sometimes we wonder why young people behave the way they do.

A Baby Boomer Diva's Look at Mother's Day

This is my 17th year as a mother. I've sure seen a lot of changes over the holiday years. I can recall my first Mother's Day as if it were yesterday. My ex and I were watching a basketball game on TV with our little one on the floor. Without warning, she just rolled over. Now for those of you who are parents, you know the significance of having your child roll over. It's another stage in their development. I was so excited---but my ex seemed to be more excited about the basketball game.

I remember the WORST mother's day present I ever received. It was an iron and a six piece glassware set. I don't know what message my ex though he was sending by giving me that but I certainly never used it to iron his clothes and the glasses ended up getting broken accidentally.

After all of these years, I kept every card my daughter ever gave me. I still have the ceramic ash tray she made for me in pre-school.

This year is the first year I am a mom to someone else's kids. My new husband has two grown children from his first marriage. I didn't expect them to call me to wish me a Happy Mother's day--although it would've been a nice gesture.

This is also the first year I am a grandma--ma---As my daughter is now celebrating her very first Mother's Day.

I hope she will find her own experiences something to remember and to write about.

My Mother taught me about Menopause.....

My mother taught me about menopause....in the weirdest kind of way. I used to think she was a deranged woman for the way she treated me but now I understand it really wasn't my mother at all---her physical and mental state were being controlled by the culprit know as MENOPAUSE. If you can relate read on:

My mother convinced me she could get me into Heaven: "You better cut that out before I knock you into Kingdom Come!"

My mother taught me about the circle of life: "I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"

My mother taught me about the power of prayer: "You better pray to God that I don't kill you!"

My mother taught me about logic: "Because I said so, that's why!"

My mother taught me about the weather: "This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me about receiving: "You're gonna get it when we get home!"

My mother taught me about horseplay: "If I've told you once...I've told you a thousand times. So when you get hurt, don't come running to me looking for sympathy!"

My mother taught me about wisdom: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

My mother taught me about justice: "Why do we need the police? You have to answer to ME!"

My mother taught me about parenting: "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!"


On a serious note, my mother did teach me things like respect, self-confidence, a work hard ethic and to stand up for what I believe in.

Whether I like it sometimes or not, I am who I am because of her influence. Menopause has a NEW victim.

African American Baby Boomers and the American Dream

If there are more than nine million black baby boomers according to the 2004 US Census, why are there only a little more than two hundred thousand of us making $100,000 or more? Maybe it’s because we were never meant to live the American Dream.

More than forty years after the end of the baby boom, black Americans born between 1946 and 1964 "are no better off relative to whites than their parents and grandparents" were in terms of income, according to a Duke University study. Black baby boomers have not closed the income gap, even though they were the first generation to come of age after the civil rights era, the researchers said.

The Duke study correlates with statistical information recently released by Nextmark.com (www.nextmark.com); a company that collects data to be used for mailing lists. According to the 2004 US Census, even though California is the largest state in the US, it ranks sixth when it comes to the number of blacks making at least $100,000, according to the Nextmark data. New York may have the largest black population overall but it ranks a distant second when it comes to the number of blacks making at least $100,000.

Maryland, meanwhile, holds the distinguished honor of being the state that tops the list of blacks making at least $100,000. Interestingly, Maryland is the 19th largest state. Out of 1.4 million blacks, there are a little more than 32,000 who earn at least $100,000. On the other hand, New York’s black population is just over three million but only 18,500 thousand blacks are reporting a six figure income.

Here are the states in order of blacks making at least $100,000:
1) Maryland 32,189; 2) New York 18,533; 3) Texas 12,098; 4) Georgia 11,429 (tie); Illinois 11,429 (tie); 5) Michigan 10,546; 6) California 10,511; 7) North Carolina 8,704; 8) Florida 8,226; 9 ) Virginia 7,908; 10) New Jersey 6,778.

Another interesting statistic is the fact that although Ohio is the seventh largest state, it barely cracks the top twenty with blacks making six figures. It falls behind states like Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee and South Carolina. African Americans have made their way more into the middle class than before," said Duke sociology professor Mary Elizabeth Hughes, "but when you look across the board, you don't see the type of equality Americans would like to see. It suggests there are very deep root causes here, not one-answer causes."

Could that deep rooted cause be something called institutionalized racism? Remember, many black baby boomers grew up in a separate but so-called equal society filled with unequal education and unequal access. Then integration came along. But how much really changed? You do the math.


Sources for this story: www.census.gov and www.nextmark.com

What's Up with the Baby Boomer Drama?

David Hasselhoff has become the latest celebrity baby boomer to show a less than flattering side to America. In a video recorded by his daughters and shown on You Tube, the former Knight Rider star is shown lying on the floor in a drunken stuper and trying to respond to a voice off camera regarding his alcohol relapse. He is also trying to eat something off the floor in the process.

Just a few weeks ago, we heard the voice of boomer Alec Baldwin ranting in a cell phone message to his daughter.

I am, personally, appalled at the behavior of these two men but I am OUTRAGED that their wives appear to have driven them to the point of being out of control. Why must their marriages end so bitterly? Is it over money? Bad sex? Infidelity? or a combination of everything? Well, whatever the case, there should be no reason for these baby boomer women to drag their former lovers through the mud because whether they realize it or not, they're dragging themselves as well and they may get up even dirtier.

These kinds of antics may have been a part of our twenties but you would think that we grew up and learned from the error of our ways. A word of advice to Pam and Kim: Ladies, get over yourselves and find another way to make some headlines. You're giving the rest of us baby boomer divas a really bad name!

But then again...maybe it ain't personal, it's menopause.

My attitude about "dumb jocks" has changed

When I was in high school I was a cheerleader. At the time it was my life's ambition. You see, back in the day, girls my complexion weren't seen on the pep squads. Oh, they would have a "token" here and there but for the most part, if we wanted to be seen we either played in the band or ran track (which I also did). I had no musical talent to speak of. My singing in the shower doesn't even sound good.

Being a cheerleader was cool because I got to wear those cute little short skirts and cheer for the boys all the girls loved. It's interesting...I never dated a "jock" because I didn't feel they were up to my academic standards. I'm sure you've heard athletes being referred to as "dumb jocks." I really thought they were and one of them, who will remain nameless here (because some of you would recognize the name), instilled that thought in my head when he used to always cheat off of my paper in Math class. We actually laugh about it today but it wasn't funny back then because the teacher always felt I was the one trying to help him and I would get in trouble for "allowing" the cheating to occur.

WHATEVER!

Anyway...my attitude towards athletes have changed over the years as I have met more and more people who have used their sports careers as stepping stones to other things. I recently met one such person and I'm delighted to share my interview with you.

He's a two-time super bowl champion from the San Francisco 49ers and he is definitely a baby boomer on the move!

One more thing...thanks for stopping by and reading my blogs.