Why Must the President be a Nigger in my BoomerWorld

Someone called President Obama a nigger at The Duke Center for Living Fitness Center this morning. I didn't actually hear him say it. By the time I was summoned to the area, I heard him say "Obama has done more to divide this nation than any other President." Once a small group of us gathered in the area of the gym where they were, the two men left and headed to the men's locker room.

Okay, so here's how it went down. Miss Merlita, who looks 60 but is probably closer to 90, was sitting in a chair in the weight training area, along with three other older white men. I was approximately 20 feet away in another section of the weight training area along with one some other people. I kept looking at her because I was curious as to what she was doing since she wasn't using the exercise equipment attached to the chair.

Suddenly, she motioned for me and another man to come to her.  I remember thinking, "She's getting ready to talk my ear off!"  When we got there she pointed to one of the men and said he just called the President a nigger.  We started joking with her about her bad hearing until another man nearby confirmed that he also heard it.  As our conversation escalated, the two men got up and headed towards the locker room.

When I posted what happened on Facebook, someone asked if anyone said anything to the two men. No one did. I think this goes back to the mentality of older blacks in the South. They say "Shame on whitey and let's put it in God's hands," but they don't want to be confrontational. They still believe in trying to keep the peace even though the world around them is reminiscent of a period they want to forget. Had I actually heard the comment, I am sure I would've gotten in their faces but I, too, chose to follow the crowd. Perhaps that means I'm mellowing out as I grow older. But it doesn't mean I don't see the racism that exists among boomers and senior citizens as it relates to President Obama.

The Boomer generation has been labeled the greatest generation but when I see and hear how MY GENERATION is reacting to this upcoming election, I have to say we are anything but great. Disgraceful is more like it.

Boomers with Health Issues May Be Unlucky at Love

If you're single with Shingles, high blood pressure, arthritis or some other aging-related health issue, your chances don't look too good when it comes to finding romance.  That's because a survey conducted by the online dating site OurTime.com has revealed more than 50 percent singles over the age of 55 say they would not date someone with health problems.

That would surely rule me out of the dating pool since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure at the age of 49.  Fortunately, my husband chose not to make it an issue since he married me the following year.

But never fear, if you don't look all that hot with your aging face and body, that's OK because, according to the same survey, 68 percent of adults age 55 and older say they would be willing to date someone they felt was less attractive.  

Other key points of the survey:

Some 70 percent of men and 59 percent of women say they are willing to date people of other religions.

65 percent of people 55 or older said dating more than one person at the same time was fine.

60 percent said they would date someone outside party lines.

46 percent of adults 55+ said they were open to dating someone of a different race

Where do you fall in line with this survey?

All Baby Boomers Look Alike in the Dark

On Thursday of this week, I was shopping in Harris Teeter (my favorite grocery store) when the lights went out.  I'd never had that experience before, although one of the employees said  it happens there about once a week.

One lady asked how long it would take before the lights came back on so she could check-out.  That's when we discovered that although the lights went out in the store, the power for the cash registers were working just fine.  No problem there.  We may not have been able to see the price of anything as we shopped but the scanners at the registers would help us out.

When it was my turn to check out the cashier kindly asked me if I was a senior.  I have to admit I was taken aback by her question.  Although I thought I was looking good after an intense workout at the gym, I was certain the cashier  had not mistaken me for a high school girl but I sure couldn't believe she thought I was a senior citizen.  What?!  Are you kidding me!

I asked the cashier if she was serious and if she thought I looked like a senior.  She didn't respond to the question but she covered it nicely by saying, "Thursday all seniors get five percent off their grocery bill and I forgot to ask the gentleman ahead of you so I didn't want to make the mistake again."

Well, she did make a mistake but I didn't want to get indignant so I asked her if 55 qualified as a senior.  She said I had to be 60 so I told her if I was still shopping there in five years, I'll qualify.  Then I turned to the white-haired woman behind me, who CLEARLY looked like a senior, and said, "I guess we all look alike in the dark."  

And if it's any consolation, I did get some free seafood from the seafood and meat section.

Celebrating Grandparents Day for the Sixth Year

If anyone had told me I would be a grandmother before the age of 50 and my daughter would become a teenage mom, I would’ve called them a liar and reminded them that my daughter was raised with the right morals and values so that wouldn’t ever be an issue I would be concerned about.  It’s probably the same thing Sarah Palin thought about her daughter, Bristol. 

While my daughter is working diligently to complete her final year in college, her stepfather and I have joined the ranks of primary caregivers for five-year-old grandchild. We are part of a growing trend in America—joining nearly millions of grandparents who have grandchildren living with them.

Here are more numbers from the AARP about grandparent caregivers: 

Nearly 7.8 million children live in households headed by a grandparent or other relative

More than 2.5 million grandparents say they are responsible for most of the basic needs, such as clothing, food and shelter, of one or more grandchildren who live with them.. 

21 percent, the percentage of preschoolers who are cared for primarily by their grandparents while their mother is employed or in school.

My mother and I were both the same age when we had a baby---age 32---and we were both married.  That trend seems to be fading away as grandmothers become younger because their daughters are having children at a much younger age.

Is there a blame to place for this so called "new normal"?  What do you think?

Are Black Baby Boomers Invisible

While on Twitter the other day, I noticed a "tweet" from @huffpost50 that said something about baby boomers transforming aging with a link to an article. Since I knew the tweet was connected to the Huffington Post I decided to click on the article. Staring me smack dab in my baby boomer eyes were several people standing on a stage---one being Arianna Huffington herself. The caption under the photo made reference to the people in the photo as a panel on aging. Immediately I wanted to know where were the black baby boomers?

Of course I tweeted my concern (SEVERAL TIMES) and finally got a response from @huffpost50 indicating they were attempting to reach out to me about blogging. GREAT! (And yes, I'm still waiting to hear from someone).

But here's my issue: Practically every time there is a discussion or panel assembled to discuss the baby boomer generation, the black baby boomers are left out. It's as if we have no voice. Nobody thinks we have anything to say---or perhaps nothing credible to say.

I remember when Tom Brokaw's BOOM generation was broadcast. I just knew it was going to be fair and balanced because, after all, he's a journalist. Instead, he had two Ivy league blacks who certainly didn't travel down the same road as the OVERWHELMING majority of the rest of us. And not once did he mention Motown--which influenced the entire generation.

To add insult to injury, there are rarely any health studies exclusively for older black adults---unless it has to do with sickle cell anemia. But the cold, hard truth is we get the same diseases as white baby boomers and we should be studied individually for possible trends in health conditions. Why is it that black women have a higher rate and risk for breast cancer? How does menopause affect black women versus white women and how much of it has to do with heredity, environment, etc. And will someone please stop lumping ALL women in the same BMI (body mass index). We all know black women have a little more meat on their bones and it doesn't always mean they're overweight or unhealthy.

These are just a few of the issues plaguing a generation that calls itself "the greatest generation ever."

As for black baby boomers, stop trying to make us the invisible ones.

The Death of a Baby Boomer in Social Media

I am one of those baby boomers who's all over the internet. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter (@bevmahone), LinkedIn, Pinterest, Google Plus, Boomer Authority, Blogger, ShoutLife and yes, even MySpace.

I am a bonafide boomer and media go-to-gal with plenty to say but what happens to my social networking life when I'm no longer around. According to an article by the AARP, if you die without leaving specific instructions, the online service where the data is stored determines what to do with your information and content.

Once the folks at Facebook find out someone on the site has died, they give the family two options. They can deactivate the user's profile or "memorialize" it. A memorialized page will allow friends and family to continue to see the profile and post messages on the wall, but no one can log into the account, and the deceased's page will not show up in a search.

So you and I will not only have to decide how and who we want handling our financial affairs after we die, we also have to think about how we want our digital estate to be handled.

Would you like your Facebook friends to be able to see and post on your page after your death, or would you feel more comfortable if your profile is removed?

Every Photo Tells a Story

My dad was born on July 22, 1926. Today would've been his 86th birthday but he died of heart disease in 1983 at the young age of 57. Yes, I miss my dad. I was very close to him---much closer to him than I am my mother, who is still alive, but that's not what this blog post is about.

This blog is about the photo you see to the left. It was my dad's high school graduation picture---taken in 1944. I never saw this picture until after my father passed away because he apparently never kept a copy or it was lost somewhere. But I do recall him telling me the story behind the photograph.

The photographer who was originally hired to take the pictures of the graduating class backed out when he discovered he was photographing "negroes." According to my dad, one of the students in his class went home and told his dad about the situation and his dad made arrangements with the school to take the graduation photos. This dad was a farmer who apparently had an interest in photography but couldn't get any steady work in the field because of his race.

He proceeded to take pictures of the graduating class---all 19 of them. My dad says he doesn't know if the school paid him for his services but he remembers his mother (my grandmother) sending him to school with some change to give the school when he picked up his picture.

Had it not been for this unknown photographer, I probably would've thought my dad never graduated from high school.