Forty years ago I could never envision myself wearing any kind of glasses EXCEPT sunglasses. Funny, how time and aging can give you a different perspective.
As an author and reader, I know I have put tremendous strain on my eyes over the years so I was delighted to receive and try out a complimentary pair of reading glasses from iconeyewear.
Imagine my surprise when I opened up the package and saw how cute they were. I'm not sure what I was expecting but they were very stylish. I could definitely see myself reading in these.
My first test was taking them to church and following along with the reading of a Bible scripture. Hallelujah! A miracle! I could see the words without squinting.
Next was finishing up a book I had been reading where the font size was written for 20 year olds with perfect vision. Now I can read a book and look sexy too!
What I love about the Borghese readers from Icon Eyewear is they are very stylish and give me a look of sophistication. Women of a certain age deserve to look classy even if they are wearing reading glasses.
The right eyewear will allow you to get up close and personal for all of your reading pleasure.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Why Some Blacks Lack Business Success
I read a post recently that said blacks need to stop blaming white people for everything that's wrong in their lives. I am in total agreement with that statement, HOWEVER,there's no getting around the fact that whites are more likely to consider their own when it comes to hiring, referrals and doing business in general.
According to a study by the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, black men and women are 50 percent more likely to attempt a business start-up than their white counterparts, but the numbers show many of those new black businesses never get off the ground. And for those that do actually start, they are not growing as quickly or as big as white-owned companies.
A 2008 MIT study set out to determine why Asians and Whites outperformed blacks in the marketplace. The conclusion: Blacks fail because they have fewer opportunities. And why do we have fewer opportunities? Here are some of my reasons:
You're not a part of the clique: If you do any networking in your local community, you will probably find there are certain groups of people who are always together. They travel in packs and support each other. They don't mind you coming to one of their networking meetings or events (where you pay them money) but when it comes to supporting your events or inviting you to special gatherings that are more personable, you tend to be excluded. I tried being a part of the "in" crowd once but I discovered I was more of an OUTSIDER than an INSIDER.
They don't know, like AND trust you: They may know and like you but TRUST is major. It's one thing to purchase a $19.95 book you may have written but it's another thing to fork over $1,995 for your service. Another thing is they are quick to compare you to their "good black friends" and if you don't measure up, you're not going to make their list of the "likeables."
You don't get referrals: Recently on Facebook, someone posted a thread looking for speakers. I read through the recommendations and didn't see the name of one black person. I recommended myself and proceeded to question why there were no blacks on the list. NO RESPONSE from the author of that post, however, my friend Felicia Slattery (who got lots of referrals in that thread) did speak up and recommend me but that fell on deaf ears. Bottom line is, if they don't know, like and trust you, they sure as hell aren't going to refer you know matter how good you are and how well you deliver your service.
You live in the South: I actually had someone tell me this a few years ago. She was commenting on how different the Triangle of NC was from the rest of the country. "It isn't you Beverly. It's just the way they are down here" is what she said. So I guess that means if I'm not cleaning your house or taking care of your children, I am of no value to you. It doesn't matter that I have a college education and can speak AND write better than you.
There's already one (or maybe two) "token" black business owners in their circle and they're comfortable enough with that. Along with that, there are some blacks who don't want to give up their "token" crown. In some cases, we are our own worst enemies. We will cut each other down in front of whites just to be that "one good black person who isn't like all the rest."
We're judged by the company we keep: “Be careful of the environment you choose for it will shape you. Be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.” – W. Clement Stone
Finally, we don't do enough to support each other.
According to a study by the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, black men and women are 50 percent more likely to attempt a business start-up than their white counterparts, but the numbers show many of those new black businesses never get off the ground. And for those that do actually start, they are not growing as quickly or as big as white-owned companies.
A 2008 MIT study set out to determine why Asians and Whites outperformed blacks in the marketplace. The conclusion: Blacks fail because they have fewer opportunities. And why do we have fewer opportunities? Here are some of my reasons:
You're not a part of the clique: If you do any networking in your local community, you will probably find there are certain groups of people who are always together. They travel in packs and support each other. They don't mind you coming to one of their networking meetings or events (where you pay them money) but when it comes to supporting your events or inviting you to special gatherings that are more personable, you tend to be excluded. I tried being a part of the "in" crowd once but I discovered I was more of an OUTSIDER than an INSIDER.
They don't know, like AND trust you: They may know and like you but TRUST is major. It's one thing to purchase a $19.95 book you may have written but it's another thing to fork over $1,995 for your service. Another thing is they are quick to compare you to their "good black friends" and if you don't measure up, you're not going to make their list of the "likeables."
You don't get referrals: Recently on Facebook, someone posted a thread looking for speakers. I read through the recommendations and didn't see the name of one black person. I recommended myself and proceeded to question why there were no blacks on the list. NO RESPONSE from the author of that post, however, my friend Felicia Slattery (who got lots of referrals in that thread) did speak up and recommend me but that fell on deaf ears. Bottom line is, if they don't know, like and trust you, they sure as hell aren't going to refer you know matter how good you are and how well you deliver your service.
You live in the South: I actually had someone tell me this a few years ago. She was commenting on how different the Triangle of NC was from the rest of the country. "It isn't you Beverly. It's just the way they are down here" is what she said. So I guess that means if I'm not cleaning your house or taking care of your children, I am of no value to you. It doesn't matter that I have a college education and can speak AND write better than you.
There's already one (or maybe two) "token" black business owners in their circle and they're comfortable enough with that. Along with that, there are some blacks who don't want to give up their "token" crown. In some cases, we are our own worst enemies. We will cut each other down in front of whites just to be that "one good black person who isn't like all the rest."
We're judged by the company we keep: “Be careful of the environment you choose for it will shape you. Be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.” – W. Clement Stone
Finally, we don't do enough to support each other.
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
Silly Surveys are not for Boomer Women
As a veteran journalist who has reported on various surveys, I know that many of them are not all that they appear to be. We may be told that an OVERWHELMING majority may believe this or that but the number of people actually surveyed may only be a couple of thousand people or even less.
Now here comes another survey that has me shaking my head in disgust: Doing Household Chores Actually Turns-Up The Romance New Survey Reveals Women Unclog Their Minds While Clearing Drains
A new survey from Liquid-Plumr of 1,000 women ages 18 and older shows:
• A third of women admitted to fantasizing about their significant other WHILE DOING HOUSEWORK.
• 49% of women were more likely to be in the mood to be intimate after their chores were complete.
This survey was reportedly conducted by KRC Research on behalf of Liquid-Plumr. A total of 1,000 women 18 years old and older were interviewed via telephone from Nov. 2 to Nov. 12, 2012, including cell-phone exchanges.
I don't know who these women were but I am guessing many of them were single and on the younger---WAY YOUNGER---side of 50. Who in the world fantasizes about their significant other while scrubbing toilets and bathtubs or washing dishes? And who in the world would be in a romantic mood after spending a significant amount of time cleaning. How about a "Calgon take me away" moment instead?
Now to the contrary, there is ANOTHER survey that says the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50 percent higher than among those where the woman did most of the work. One of the authors of this Norwegian based study says the more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate. Either this is a totally sexist survey in believing that a woman's place is in the home doing housework OR the women surveyed don't want to entertain the idea that they may have married a gay man. Personally, I want a man who knows how to do housework. That means he had some home training growing up.
Either way, neither one of these surveys seem to make any sense to me. What do you think?
Now here comes another survey that has me shaking my head in disgust: Doing Household Chores Actually Turns-Up The Romance New Survey Reveals Women Unclog Their Minds While Clearing Drains
A new survey from Liquid-Plumr of 1,000 women ages 18 and older shows:
• A third of women admitted to fantasizing about their significant other WHILE DOING HOUSEWORK.
• 49% of women were more likely to be in the mood to be intimate after their chores were complete.
This survey was reportedly conducted by KRC Research on behalf of Liquid-Plumr. A total of 1,000 women 18 years old and older were interviewed via telephone from Nov. 2 to Nov. 12, 2012, including cell-phone exchanges.
I don't know who these women were but I am guessing many of them were single and on the younger---WAY YOUNGER---side of 50. Who in the world fantasizes about their significant other while scrubbing toilets and bathtubs or washing dishes? And who in the world would be in a romantic mood after spending a significant amount of time cleaning. How about a "Calgon take me away" moment instead?
Now to the contrary, there is ANOTHER survey that says the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50 percent higher than among those where the woman did most of the work. One of the authors of this Norwegian based study says the more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate. Either this is a totally sexist survey in believing that a woman's place is in the home doing housework OR the women surveyed don't want to entertain the idea that they may have married a gay man. Personally, I want a man who knows how to do housework. That means he had some home training growing up.
Either way, neither one of these surveys seem to make any sense to me. What do you think?
Monday, November 26, 2012
Baby Boomer Facts about Social Security, Divorce and Death
Today on my Boomer Beat Radio Show, my guest (a retirement financial planner) told me something I was unaware of. He said if I divorced and never remarried, I would be entitled to the social security benefits of my ex upon his death.
Furthermore, according to the Social Security Administration website, if you are divorced, but your marriage lasted 10 years or longer, you can receive benefits on your ex-spouse's record (even if he or she has REMARRIED) if:
And that's not all......if you remarry and that marriage ends by death, divorce or annulment you may still collect SS benefits from your ex.
To learn more about ex spouses and social security, check out this retirement blog
Furthermore, according to the Social Security Administration website, if you are divorced, but your marriage lasted 10 years or longer, you can receive benefits on your ex-spouse's record (even if he or she has REMARRIED) if:
And that's not all......if you remarry and that marriage ends by death, divorce or annulment you may still collect SS benefits from your ex.
To learn more about ex spouses and social security, check out this retirement blog
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Why Must the President be a Nigger in my BoomerWorld
Someone called President Obama a nigger at The Duke Center for Living Fitness Center this morning. I didn't actually hear him say it. By the time I was summoned to the area, I heard him say "Obama has done more to divide this nation than any other President." Once a small group of us gathered in the area of the gym where they were, the two men left and headed to the men's locker room.
Okay, so here's how it went down. Miss Merlita, who looks 60 but is probably closer to 90, was sitting in a chair in the weight training area, along with three other older white men. I was approximately 20 feet away in another section of the weight training area along with one some other people. I kept looking at her because I was curious as to what she was doing since she wasn't using the exercise equipment attached to the chair.
Suddenly, she motioned for me and another man to come to her. I remember thinking, "She's getting ready to talk my ear off!" When we got there she pointed to one of the men and said he just called the President a nigger. We started joking with her about her bad hearing until another man nearby confirmed that he also heard it. As our conversation escalated, the two men got up and headed towards the locker room.
When I posted what happened on Facebook, someone asked if anyone said anything to the two men. No one did. I think this goes back to the mentality of older blacks in the South. They say "Shame on whitey and let's put it in God's hands," but they don't want to be confrontational. They still believe in trying to keep the peace even though the world around them is reminiscent of a period they want to forget. Had I actually heard the comment, I am sure I would've gotten in their faces but I, too, chose to follow the crowd. Perhaps that means I'm mellowing out as I grow older. But it doesn't mean I don't see the racism that exists among boomers and senior citizens as it relates to President Obama.
The Boomer generation has been labeled the greatest generation but when I see and hear how MY GENERATION is reacting to this upcoming election, I have to say we are anything but great. Disgraceful is more like it.
Okay, so here's how it went down. Miss Merlita, who looks 60 but is probably closer to 90, was sitting in a chair in the weight training area, along with three other older white men. I was approximately 20 feet away in another section of the weight training area along with one some other people. I kept looking at her because I was curious as to what she was doing since she wasn't using the exercise equipment attached to the chair.
Suddenly, she motioned for me and another man to come to her. I remember thinking, "She's getting ready to talk my ear off!" When we got there she pointed to one of the men and said he just called the President a nigger. We started joking with her about her bad hearing until another man nearby confirmed that he also heard it. As our conversation escalated, the two men got up and headed towards the locker room.
When I posted what happened on Facebook, someone asked if anyone said anything to the two men. No one did. I think this goes back to the mentality of older blacks in the South. They say "Shame on whitey and let's put it in God's hands," but they don't want to be confrontational. They still believe in trying to keep the peace even though the world around them is reminiscent of a period they want to forget. Had I actually heard the comment, I am sure I would've gotten in their faces but I, too, chose to follow the crowd. Perhaps that means I'm mellowing out as I grow older. But it doesn't mean I don't see the racism that exists among boomers and senior citizens as it relates to President Obama.
The Boomer generation has been labeled the greatest generation but when I see and hear how MY GENERATION is reacting to this upcoming election, I have to say we are anything but great. Disgraceful is more like it.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Boomers with Health Issues May Be Unlucky at Love
If you're single with Shingles, high blood pressure, arthritis or some other aging-related health issue, your chances don't look too good when it comes to finding romance. That's because a survey conducted by the online dating site OurTime.com has revealed more than 50 percent singles over the age of 55 say they would not date someone with health problems.
That would surely rule me out of the dating pool since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure at the age of 49. Fortunately, my husband chose not to make it an issue since he married me the following year.
But never fear, if you don't look all that hot with your aging face and body, that's OK because, according to the same survey, 68 percent of adults age 55 and older say they would be willing to date someone they felt was less attractive.
Other key points of the survey:
Some 70 percent of men and 59 percent of women say they are willing to date people of other religions.
65 percent of people 55 or older said dating more than one person at the same time was fine.
60 percent said they would date someone outside party lines.
46 percent of adults 55+ said they were open to dating someone of a different race
Where do you fall in line with this survey?
That would surely rule me out of the dating pool since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure at the age of 49. Fortunately, my husband chose not to make it an issue since he married me the following year.
But never fear, if you don't look all that hot with your aging face and body, that's OK because, according to the same survey, 68 percent of adults age 55 and older say they would be willing to date someone they felt was less attractive.
Other key points of the survey:
Some 70 percent of men and 59 percent of women say they are willing to date people of other religions.
65 percent of people 55 or older said dating more than one person at the same time was fine.
60 percent said they would date someone outside party lines.
46 percent of adults 55+ said they were open to dating someone of a different race
Where do you fall in line with this survey?
Friday, September 14, 2012
All Baby Boomers Look Alike in the Dark
On Thursday of this week, I was shopping in Harris Teeter (my favorite grocery store) when the lights went out. I'd never had that experience before, although one of the employees said it happens there about once a week.
One lady asked how long it would take before the lights came back on so she could check-out. That's when we discovered that although the lights went out in the store, the power for the cash registers were working just fine. No problem there. We may not have been able to see the price of anything as we shopped but the scanners at the registers would help us out.
When it was my turn to check out the cashier kindly asked me if I was a senior. I have to admit I was taken aback by her question. Although I thought I was looking good after an intense workout at the gym, I was certain the cashier had not mistaken me for a high school girl but I sure couldn't believe she thought I was a senior citizen. What?! Are you kidding me!
I asked the cashier if she was serious and if she thought I looked like a senior. She didn't respond to the question but she covered it nicely by saying, "Thursday all seniors get five percent off their grocery bill and I forgot to ask the gentleman ahead of you so I didn't want to make the mistake again."
Well, she did make a mistake but I didn't want to get indignant so I asked her if 55 qualified as a senior. She said I had to be 60 so I told her if I was still shopping there in five years, I'll qualify. Then I turned to the white-haired woman behind me, who CLEARLY looked like a senior, and said, "I guess we all look alike in the dark."
And if it's any consolation, I did get some free seafood from the seafood and meat section.
One lady asked how long it would take before the lights came back on so she could check-out. That's when we discovered that although the lights went out in the store, the power for the cash registers were working just fine. No problem there. We may not have been able to see the price of anything as we shopped but the scanners at the registers would help us out.
When it was my turn to check out the cashier kindly asked me if I was a senior. I have to admit I was taken aback by her question. Although I thought I was looking good after an intense workout at the gym, I was certain the cashier had not mistaken me for a high school girl but I sure couldn't believe she thought I was a senior citizen. What?! Are you kidding me!
I asked the cashier if she was serious and if she thought I looked like a senior. She didn't respond to the question but she covered it nicely by saying, "Thursday all seniors get five percent off their grocery bill and I forgot to ask the gentleman ahead of you so I didn't want to make the mistake again."
Well, she did make a mistake but I didn't want to get indignant so I asked her if 55 qualified as a senior. She said I had to be 60 so I told her if I was still shopping there in five years, I'll qualify. Then I turned to the white-haired woman behind me, who CLEARLY looked like a senior, and said, "I guess we all look alike in the dark."
And if it's any consolation, I did get some free seafood from the seafood and meat section.
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