Southern Heritage and the Confederacy

As someone who was born and raised in the Midwest, I had no idea how deeply rooted southern heritage was until I moved to North Carolina.  I learned about the Civil War in school but the Confederacy lost---case closed. But no----that is not the case and as I quickly learned, southern heritage means something totally different for Whites born in the South than it does for Blacks.

I've never seen one black person with a confederate flag waving from their pickup truck or from a flag pole at their home, however, the "Stars and Bars," as it's called, can be seen in many rural areas and on  1 in 5 pickup trucks with someone who looks like a redneck (stereotype I know) behind the wheel.

When NASCAR announced, a few weeks ago, that they were banning the confederate flag from ALL of their sporting events, that was a MAJOR move because their biggest supporters seemed to be from redneckville (another stereotype I know), who waved their flags proudly.  But then I thought, that's just the tip of the iceberg.  If real change is going to be made, it's time to get rid of everything connected to the confederacy, including the statues of confederate generals that stand proudly in many southern states and renaming the buildings named for those losers. 

Army Bases:
Ft Lee (VA):  Named after General Robert E. Lee
Ft. Bragg (NC):  Named after General Braxton Bragg, who I understand was one of the absolute WORST!
Ft. Hood (TX):  Named after General John Bill Hood
Ft. Benning (GA):  Named after General Henry Benning (lawyer turned soldier)
Ft. Gordon (GA):  Named after General John Brown Gordon (who went on to be elected to the U.S. Senate in 1872 and reportedly the head of the GA chapter of the KKK)
Ft. Rucker (ALA):  Named after Colonel Edmund Rucker

A side note:  A law passed under former NC Governor Pat McCrory restricts moving confederate statues on government owned property.  An Alabama law makes the removal of confederate monuments illegal.

If you want to know how many colleges and universities are impacted, click here: Schools

 And while we're talking about statues, let's not forget about the one located at the Supreme Court Justice building of Former Chief Justice Roger B. Taney, who was famous for his argument in the Dred Scott vs. Sanford decision in 1857.  In his opinion (as part of the majority) he wrote: Scott was a slave and as such was not a citizen and could not sue in Federal Court.  Taney's further opinion was that Congress had no power to exclude slavery from the territories and that Negros could not become citizens.

Now I am certainly not advocating that all statues be removed and destroyed (even though the South lost) but they can be put in a Museum similar to the artifacts in the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

Perhaps it's time for those white southerners, who believe their heritage is tied to the confederacy, to re-think how they view their heritage and what TREASON really means.

The Marriage Between NASCAR and the Confederate Flag is Over

As a 60-something year-old woman, I used to say I never thought I'd see the day when we would actually elect a black man for President.  Then, lo and behold, young people in this country decided it was time for REAL CHANGE and galvanized to elect Barack Obama as our 44th Commander-in-Chief.

Another thing I never thought I'd live to see was the dissolution of the relationship between NASCAR and the confederate flag. That happened on this date June 10, 2020.
The move came after the only black driver on the NASCAR circuit, Bubba Wallace, came out two days earlier urging officials to ban the flag from all events. (I have to admit I didn't know he was black with a name like Bubba) But it's like that old E.F Hutton commercial, remember:  "When E.F. Hutton Speaks, people listen..."

NASCAR statement

"The presence of the confederate flag at NASCAR events runs contrary to our commitment to providing a welcoming and inclusive environment for all fans, our competitors and our industry. Bringing people together around a love for racing and the community that it creates is what makes our fans and sport special. The display of the confederate flag will be prohibited from all NASCAR events and properties.”

What I found interesting about this statement is that it called their events a "welcoming and inclusive environment for ALL fans..." and that the flag was a deterrent.  I don't know about you but I never thought of NASCAR as a welcoming environment for anyone other than lower class and rural whites.  I certainly could be wrong about that but at the one and ONLY race I ever went to I felt like I was in the midst of a KKK rally and everyone communicated  like they only went as far as the 6th grade. I've never understood why the flag was always associated with their sports racing events. 

But now NASCAR has jumped on the bandwagon of those companies who are attempting to march in step with the current climate of the country.   For more than two weeks (as of this writing), people have taken to the streets all over the country and around the world to demand justice for the police killing for George Floyd and against systemic racism.  Young, old, black, white, Asian and Latino are raising one shared voice, which hasn't been heard in more than 50 years.

This is a good move for NASCAR but I'm wondering what the fallout will be.  You see, the confederacy still has a stronghold in some places, primarily the South. And NASCAR is REALLY BIG in Darlington, SC, Ridgeville, VA (Martinsville Speedway), Charlotte, NC (Charlotte Motor Speedway) to name a few.  

Stay tuned for the next episode because as well all know there can be something called "reconciliation." After all, when you have a 70 plus year history with something, is it really that easy to just walk away?

The Millennial Uprising

Uprising:  An act of resistance or rebellion; a revolt

More than 40 years ago I was a member of a young generation who took to the streets to protest for affirmative action and against the Vietnam War.  Before me, my parents were part of the March on Washington---that eventually led to the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  Now the torch has been passed on to my millennial daughter and Generation Z grandson who are among tens of thousands (perhaps millions) of people who have become part of a new uprising:  Equal Justice under the Law. 

AHMAUD ARBERY 2/23/20; BREONNA TAYLOR 3/13/20; GEORGE FLOYD 5/25/20

Who wasn't stunned, appalled, outraged, hurt, sad, or horrified by what they witnessed for 8 minutes and 46 seconds in a video on Memorial Day 2020?  How many white people were downright ashamed or embarrassed by the actions of the white police officer?  How many blacks were terrified that they, or someone they know, could become the next victim.  The whole world has seen the video of Derek Chauvin pressing his knee on the neck of George Floyd (They called him Perry, Jr.) as he lay face down, handcuffed, and grasping for air.  As a mother and grandmother of a young black male, I burst into tears upon hearing him call out for his "mama" after learning his mother had passed away two years ago.

26-year-old Breonna Taylor was shot and killed in her own home by police after some phony drug sting and shot her eight times.  25-year-old Ahmaud Arbery was jogging when he was hunted down like an animal by two white vigilantes who claim they saw  him steal something from a house under construction in their neighborhoods I was on grief and anger overload---just like the overwhelming majority of blacks.  I felt compelled to pick up where I left off in the 1970's but because of COVID-19 and my underlying condition, I was limited in my outside activities.  But then I started to see a shift.  Young people everywhere were starting to take a stand against the injustices they were seeing, reading, and hearing about.  Since the murder of Floyd, they have taken to the streets in droves and the beautiful thing is, depending on what city the media shows, young whites outnumber other races. And surprisingly, some of them are rising up against their own parents.  While donald trump is running around professing to "make america great again" Millennials are saying the way to do that is to move forward not backwards.  GenY, by the way, is the most racially and ethnically diverse population ever. 

It will be up to our young people to carry the torch for REAL change.  It will be up to them to be the change we all wish to see in this world (everyone except the white supremacists and evangelicals).

In 1971, Gill Scott Heron recorded a song called "The Revolution will Not be Televised."  Here's a portion of those lyrics...

"You will not be able to stay home, brother
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag (heroin)
And skip out for beer during commercials, because
The revolution will not be televised..."

In 2020, the Revolution IS Televised!

Aging and Death

Recently I decided to pop onto Facebook to see if I had missed any birthdays of friends and to see if there was anything I wanted to comment on.  Mind you, I'm not there much---maybe once a week--- so I never really see who and what comes through my timeline consistently.  But on this particular day, the very FIRST post I saw was from a former media colleague.  He shared a recent procedure he had and how grateful he was to still be alive considering how bad off he said he was not long ago.  It immediately caught my attention because it is somewhat similar to a procedure that has been recommended for me by my cardiologist---and one that I am reluctant to want to undergo.

Although Bill and I haven't spoken in nearly least 20 years, I sent him a private message and asked him to call me.  He did (which was a little surprising considering our history).  He told me about his health scare and feeling like he was on the brink of death until he had an angiogram that led to a heart procedure.  I was surprised when he said his recovery time was about 48 hours and he was back to his usual self in a week's time.  I thanked him for the information and was prepared to end the call when, out of the blue, he said, "I've had some time to reflect back on my life and I just want   to apologize to you for being a dick when we worked together."  I was thinking "Oh, wow!"  He then went on to say he could've been a nicer person and then I was thinking, "Yes, you could have!"

I accepted his apology and after we hung up the phone I started thinking about my own mortality and what that conversation taught me:

God's Timing is Always Right on Time:  Bill told me he was very rarely on Facebook and his post just happened to be the very first post I saw when I went there. That's no coincidence to me. Whether he knows it or not, he was used as "Divine Intervention" because even when I do show upon FB, he's never in my timeline.  That's how God works. He has His own timetable and puts us in positions to help others when needed.  While some of us may feel He's LATE, the truth is He's never late or too early.

Near Death Experiences Give us Moments of Clarity:  Every time we go through some life-threatening situation, especially if it's health-related, we tend to have "wake up calls" and "a-ha moments."  Bill obviously had his, which compelled him to reflect back on his life---the good, the bad, and the ugly and to attempt to make amends with people he felt he had mistreated or wasn't particularly kind to.  How many times have you said, "Lord, if you just get me through this, I'll go to church more---or read the Bible more---or be more kind to others?"

It's OK to Jump into the Pity Pool but don't drown:  Several years ago I had the pleasure of interviewing author/poet Nikki Giovanni for my podcast.  Among other things, we discussed her bout with breast cancer.  She shared with me the fact that every morning when she got up she would jump into her pity pool of sorrow over her diagnosis.  It was a "Woe is me mentality, " but, as time went on, she said she spent less and less time lamenting over her illness and decided to take charge of her life and the time she had left.  She credits her change in attitude for her remission.

Yes, it's natural for us to experience some depression when we are facing a life altering illness and to want to isolate ourselves from the world while we try to come to grips with what's happened but wallowing in your own self-pity can have a detrimental effect on your overall health and outlook on life.

Thoughts and Prayers are Nice But-----I think the whole idea of saying "My thoughts and prayers are with you" have become trivialized--because that's what people believe they are expected to say when you tell them what you're going through.

Leave your Legacy:  Studies have shown that most people feel better in the face of death if they are a part of something that will live on after them.  Having a positive impact on future generations can help fulfill that need. Examples of Legacy activities include:

• Compiling a binder of favorite recipes
• Compiling a collection of favorite songs
• Compiling a family tree
• Compiling a jewelry box for family or friends of pieces with sentimental meaning to you
• Compiling a video montage – sharing advice, hopes, memories and wishes
• Creating a scrapbook with keepsakes and photos
• Establishing a community gift – a park bench, a scholarship in your family’s name or other financial legacies
• Writing a letter to loved ones
• Writing a poem or song
• Voice recordings – love notes, stories, memories, family history, etc.

In my case, I blog (I have 4 of them), a website, and a podcast so my voice will forever remain in some form or fashion.  Also, as a Professional Writing Consultant I have the opportunity to help students daily so, hopefully in their future, they will reflect back on the woman who helped them find their unique voices through written and verbal communication.

It matters not how a man dies but how he lives.

Socializing with Younger Generations Isn't So Bad After All

This past weekend I did something that totally goes against what I wrote in my latest book, The Baby Boomer Millennial Divide/Making it Work at Work. In the book, I talk about the do's and don'ts for Baby Boomers in the workplace. Here's what I said:

Don't hang out with them: It's one thing to sit with them at lunch and engage in harmless chit-chat or even go out after work every now and then for a drink, but it's an entirely different ballgame if you are choosing to socialize with them at their favorite hang-out on the weekends and challenging them to beer chugging contests.  You may be considered the "cool boomer" but not much respect will be attached to it especially if they happen to capture a video of you passed out in a drunken stupor and post it on Snapchat, Instagram or Facebook.

I did not follow my own advice (LOL!) when I decided to take a road trip to Atlanta with three younger, former co-workers to celebrate the wedding of someone we all worked with. Surprisingly, I never hesitated when I knew who would be going because I always enjoyed being around them at work and, to be honest, I probably would not have gone on my own. Although we have stayed connected via social media, we hadn't seen each other in about two years so it was exciting to have a reunion of sorts.

When I tell you I had a great time, that would be an understatement.  I had even MORE fun than I thought I would from start to finish!  Here's what I learned about socializing with younger people:

You share more in common than you think:  We all have a "back in the day" or "when I was growing up" story.  Some of the experiences they shared were also my own as far as how our parents and guardians raised us.  Even though I was 20-30 years older than them I could still relate to many of the things we talked about.  Children---boyfriends---husbands---losing weight---jobs and people we don't like, etc.  Life happens no matter how old you are.  We all still have bills to pay and challenges to overcome.

I think one of the problems with older adults is they tend to frown upon the behavior and lifestyle of young folks while forgetting that they were also young once and sometimes had reckless behavior and did foolish things that they now secretly regret. 

Respect is a two-way street:  Some older adults automatically assume that just because they're "older" they should command respect.  That's where they get it twisted.  While I believe older adults shouldn't be disrespected, I do believe respect is earned based on your character.  If you're over the age of 50 and every other word out of your mouth is a curse word or you show little regard for others around you, it is inconceivable to me that you would be deserving of anyone's adoration.  "It's the way you carry yourself" is what the grown-ups used to say when I was a kid and the same holds true for young adults.  They, too, must demonstrate their worthiness for respect.   To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't have gone on the trip had I not had a level of respect for ALL of them.

You can still act your age and share your wisdom:  The beauty of aging is young people get a chance to see and hear what their lives may be like as they grow older.  My life is nowhere near perfect but I have been blessed to have a career, a home, a wonderful husband, daughter and grandchild. I've also known what it's like to have been fired from more than one job, be unemployed for a period of time and to struggle spiritually and mentally from time to time.  These are stories to share because they make us real and transparent.  Two of the best conversations we had during the trip was about our walk with Christ and what it means when little boys see adults around them show genuine affection for each other.

On the other hand....I did catch myself acting my age just a little too much this past weekend!  I was constantly complaining about my hip and back pain and how far I had to walk to use the bathroom at the rest stop.  In that regard, aging is no joke. LOL!  I fizzled out after the wedding reception so going to the after party AFTER the reception was out of the question.

Music makes the world go round:  Thanks to SiriusXM radio, we all got a good sampling of music dating back to the 70's during the trip.    Although I've never been a fan of hip-hop, I actually forgot many of the songs I actually did like when my daughter was a teenager so we all took a trip down memory lane listening to Dance with Me, Gangsta's Paradise, "Return of the Mack", and "Walk it Out"

You can learn new things: I was so excited to learn that my former co-worker (like a daughter to me) was getting married but I had never been to a Gay wedding before so I didn't know what to expect.  Keeping it real, I believe I would've been a lot more uncomfortable had I not gone with my millennial and GenX travel mates or I probably wouldn't have gone at all.  They helped me overcome any inhibitions I may have felt.  That's another difference between the younger and older generations.  Some of us get "stuck" in our ways and are less receptive to the differences in others while young people are more likely to accept you at face value.  I'm still a work in progress.

The other new thing I learned was:  FIREBALL!

A study conducted by Harvard University some years ago indicated that older people who had active social lives were happier, healthier and more likely to live longer.  I'm not saying you need to hang out with young people every weekend but socializing with them on occasion can be a win-win for everyone.

Stop Lumping ALL Older Black Folks Together

While watching CNN recently, I listened to the commentators talk about the impact the black vote will have on who gets the nod in the Democratic party to run for President.  The general consensus was (backed up by a recent  Poll) that Joe Biden had an overwhelming amount of support from black people age 65 and older. According to Michael Nutter, a former Philadelphia Mayor and current Democratic National Committee member, the assumption is, "You go with what you know.  A lot of folks know Joe Biden.  There's power and loyalty in that."  Why?  Because he was President Obama's VP?  He, just like many of the other white candidates, are pimping the black vote.

I'm not quite in that age group but I'm close enough and, for the record, I am NOT on the Joe Biden bandwagon.  As a matter of fact, most of the people in my circle aren't in his camp.  Many of us haven't forgotten how disrespectful he was to Professor Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas Supreme Court confirmation hearings AND the fact that he didn't offer an apology until he officially entered the presidential race.  Those of us who read and listen to more than one news source may recall some comments printed back in 1975 when he was a Senator.  He was quoted by a Delaware publication as saying:

"I don't feel responsible for the sins of my father and grandfather.  I feel responsible for what the situation is today for the sins of my own generation, and I'll be damned if I feel responsible to pay for what happened 300 years ago."

If you watched the most recent Democratic debate, you saw him avoid answering the question when a reporter brought up the comments he made in 1975.  Instead, he rambled on about how some black parents don't really know how to raise their kids.

Putting Joe Biden front and center as the CHOICE of the Democratic party is another media ploy---just like the media couldn't get enough of the soundbites and antics of Donald Trump during his presidential run.  I've said it before and will continue to say it:  The media is responsible for putting Trump in the White House.

Here's the truth about polls:  They can be shaped anyway you choose for the result you want.  I don't actually know what "overwhelming support by black voters 65 and older" actually means because I don't know how many voters were actually surveyed for the responses provided.  I do know that if you only interviewed 1000 people and more than 600 said they support Biden, that could be viewed as overwhelming support but interviewing only 1000 black people 65 and over is ridiculous when the population is more than four million.

I vote faithfully EVERY ELECTION even though I do feel, sometimes, that my vote holds little value (especially after the 2016 Russian interference).

If any political pundits do happen to read this, please be advised I am not on the Joe Biden bandwagon and I would appreciate it if you respect the fact that not all of us speak with the same voice when it comes to politics.  Thank you very much.

The Radicalization of White Evangelicals

#45 and Evangelical supporters

According to a recent survey, more than 60 percent of white evangelicals say Trump has not damaged the dignity of the office of the Presidency.  A whopping 99 percent say of these same white evangelicals say they are opposed to him being impeached from office.  They believe Trump represents their interests and their hopes for keeping America the kind of country they can identify with (code for "white privilege rule") and free from terrorism, immigration and crime.  They see him as their protector.

Not long ago, I saw a video posted on Twitter about a man who identified himself as a Pastor and declared there would be a war on Christians before the end of 2019 and he was heading to his bunker to prepare.

Yes, I do believe there is a war going on INSIDE the United States but the white evangelicals are the perpetrators.  They have picked up their crosses (and probably their guns) and declared themselves as victims of a war AGAINST THEM by the non-believers.  They have been radicalized and and say it's all "in the name of Jesus!"  As a follower of Christ, I am baffled at how a group of people who claim to follow the teachings of Jesus are behaving like white terrorists.

 Be always humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another. Do your best to preserve the unity which the Spirit gives by means of the peace that binds you together. (Ephesians 4:2-3)

To be perfectly honest, I had never heard of white evangelicals until I moved to the South and then I was curious as to why they call themselves evangelicals.  Is it because they believe they are God's angels placed here on Earth to make sure we are all "born-again" so we can go to Heaven and be one big happy family under God?  I think not---especially when you take into consideration that more than 80 percent of those who identify themselves as evangelicals voted for #45 in the 2016 election.  (Source:  Christianity.com).   Furthermore, a whopping 70 percent of white evangelical Protestants approved of #45 from July 2018 to January 2019.  And according to a Pew study, "White evangelical Protestants who regularly attend church (at least once a week or more) approve of #45 at rates matching or exceeded those of white evangelicals who attend church less often." (Source:  The Atlantic).

It's obvious these people have an agenda.  Otherwise, how do you explain the fact that have tolerated Trump's crass behavior and not spoken out against Trump's betrayal of Biblical principles. According to my Bible, #45 has broken at least FIVE of the Ten Commandments!  However, these white evangelicals have become his foot soldiers with their rallying cries against Muslims and other immigrants as they long for his Make America Great Again campaign slogan to become their reality.

Yes, these white evangelicals clearly have an agenda and they are willing to put their "religion" aside for their GREATER good.  It's no secret that they'd like to see a world without abortion rights and have applauded states like AL, GA, LA, KY, MS, MO, OH, AR and UT, who have all passed stricter abortion laws in 2019.  They are concerned that their white christian culture may be dissolving before their eyes so they need judges on the bench who will rule in favor of their causes.  They get what they want from #45 and he gets what he wants---their votes.  One hand washes the other but sadly, it'll never be clean.

The rest of America has been consumed by things like mass shootings, the impeachment inquiry, climate change, the unraveling of the Middle East, etc.  What we need to focus on is those white Christians who call themselves evangelicals and who have been radicalized in the name of Jesus. Remember, these are the SAME people who believe #45 was chosen by God to protect our nation.