After leaving the gym one day this week I had the nerve to come home and complain about how sore I was. My loving, encouraging husband said, "That means you've pushed yourself to another level. No pain--no gain." That reminded me of a conversation I had with my daughter a few years ago.
Once when she was in college, she called and asked me to pray for her because she felt like she was losing her focus. She said college life and the work involved had become overwhelming. As cruel as it may sound to you, the first thing I said to her was “Welcome to the next journey of your REAL world.”
No doubt my daughter had a lot on her plate. In addition to trying to complete the second year of college in 2009, she also had a 3-year-old son to think about and a part-time job that had her commuting about 45 minutes each way on the weekends. But what I wanted to make her understand was these are the issues that have been been created in her life. She could either deal with them or roll over and play dead.
I told my daughter that God gives us all a vision—but it doesn't come without trial and tribulation. It is up to us to clear our minds and FOCUS.
My advice to my daughter three years ago has now become the absolute BEST ADVICE for ME as I have discovered the "no pain no gain" mentality beyond the gym. Opting to return to the workforce for a steady paycheck was a very painful decision for me to make last year because I felt like it meant I had lost my focus and failed as an entrepreneur after seven years of trying.
Here are some tips for people who feel like their eyes are OFF the prize:
1. Check Your Emotions
If you are charged or upset about something then keep reminding yourself that these emotions will not allow you to get to the next level.
2. Let it Go
Do not dwell on the would’ve, should’ve, could’ve. You have to let the “stuff” go and move forward. If you find yourself stuck in a rut, find an anchor in a confidant or professional. No use crying over spilled milk–just wipe it up and get a new glass.
3. Take A Breather
If you feel you are losing focus -stop, switch off and come back refreshed.
4. Keep a Notepad handy
Maybe that distracting thinking that keeps coming into your head is a good idea and could be useful. Write it down so that you know it is there, re-focus and come back to it later
5. Reschedule
The mind will wander when you are tired so re-schedule. Its more productive to stay focused on the work you are doing. It takes a lot of practice but it’s worth it.
As a parent, I do appreciate the fact that my daughter came to me to ask for prayer. At least I know she knows where her help and strength comes from and so do I.
Sometimes there is triumph and victory in our pain.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Monday, January 06, 2014
Job or Career After 50
So here I am, closer to retirement, working in a JOB that has moved me totally out of my comfort zone and into a world that I have been totally unfamiliar with: time clocks, micro-management, and younger bosses. My ego-driven personality would find this job unbearable but the "thankful for the opportunity" side of me is prepared to suck it up for the greater good.
So what is a job?
A job is something you do simply to earn money.
A job has minimal impact on your future work life.
A job offers few networking opportunities.
A job can stunt your growth mentally and physically.
The good news is you can turn a job into a new career after 50.
Although I was hired for a specific job, I have set my sights on another position inside the company. My plan is to use the skills I've developed over the years and make them marketable for that department. Not only do I see my my skills as an advantage, but I also see my age AND race as bonuses based on the hiring practices of this particular company.
The truth of the matter is, over our lifetime we've acquired many useful skills, whether it was in a previous career or through other life experiences. You'd be surprised to see how skills can transfer across occupations.
Although you may be hired for one position (like I was), you can use your experience to move into a position that will showcase your talents. Many older workers are led to believe that age works against them when, in essence, it can be your trump card. Age is only a factor if you make it one by being a know-it-all, difficult to communicate with and someone who thrives on telling everyone else how to do their jobs.
You can shine in a new career after 50.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Be Prepared for Discrimination in the Workplace after 50
Several months before I decided to leave television news for good in 2006, I was passed over for a promotion by a woman nearly half my age. She became my boss. Although she was physically attractive, she left much to be desired mentally. She constantly sought help from her subordinates who, because they were hot-blooded males, were more than happy to oblige. I, on the other hand, wasn't into information sharing. I figured if she was getting paid double my salary to do what I had already been doing, then she needed to figure out on her own how to do her job.
What happened to me is indicative of what is happening to many of my fellow baby boomer buddies in the workplace today. We are being shoved aside for younger, but not necessarily brighter, employees. It's a disturbing trend that is bound to make matters worse as businesses look for cheaper way to run their operations.
Corporate America must take some of the responsibility for pitting the young against the old. Many companies don't want to pay for experience. They would rather hire someone with the ability to do the job for less money than pay top dollar to a more experienced older employee. Some businesses aren't as interested in quality as they are in the bottom line: PROFIT.
Young people, eager to get a foot in the door, often times will accept less money and learn just enough to move on. What some businesses fail to realize is knowledge and years of experience go a long way in keeping them from making the same mistakes over and over again.
According to a researcher from the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College, potential employers are more likely to discriminate against older workers. Johanna Lahey sent out 4,000 resumes, of people between the ages of 35 and 62, to firms in Boston, MA and St. Petersburg, FL. Her findings indicated younger workers were 40 percent more likely to be called back for an interview than an older worker, defined as 50 years and older. Furthermore, she cited the top ten reasons why employers said OTHER employers might be reluctant to hire older workers:
1) Shorter career potential
2) Lack of energy
3) Cost of health and life insurance and pensions
4) Less flexible/adaptable
5) Higher salary expectations
6) Health risks/absences
7) Knowledge and skills obsolescence
8) Block career path of younger workers
9) Suspicion about competence
10) Fear of discrimination lawsuit
The truth of the matter is baby boomers are living longer, healthier lives and need to make ends meet just like their younger counterparts. Corporate America must be willing to recognize the pool of talented applicants no matter who old they are.
As a boomer who has returned to the workforce, it'll be interesting to see how this all plays out...AGAIN.
In case you're wondering what ever happened with my younger boss…well, after I left the company, she decided she wanted to be a stay at home mom.
What happened to me is indicative of what is happening to many of my fellow baby boomer buddies in the workplace today. We are being shoved aside for younger, but not necessarily brighter, employees. It's a disturbing trend that is bound to make matters worse as businesses look for cheaper way to run their operations.
Corporate America must take some of the responsibility for pitting the young against the old. Many companies don't want to pay for experience. They would rather hire someone with the ability to do the job for less money than pay top dollar to a more experienced older employee. Some businesses aren't as interested in quality as they are in the bottom line: PROFIT.
Young people, eager to get a foot in the door, often times will accept less money and learn just enough to move on. What some businesses fail to realize is knowledge and years of experience go a long way in keeping them from making the same mistakes over and over again.
According to a researcher from the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College, potential employers are more likely to discriminate against older workers. Johanna Lahey sent out 4,000 resumes, of people between the ages of 35 and 62, to firms in Boston, MA and St. Petersburg, FL. Her findings indicated younger workers were 40 percent more likely to be called back for an interview than an older worker, defined as 50 years and older. Furthermore, she cited the top ten reasons why employers said OTHER employers might be reluctant to hire older workers:
1) Shorter career potential
2) Lack of energy
3) Cost of health and life insurance and pensions
4) Less flexible/adaptable
5) Higher salary expectations
6) Health risks/absences
7) Knowledge and skills obsolescence
8) Block career path of younger workers
9) Suspicion about competence
10) Fear of discrimination lawsuit
The truth of the matter is baby boomers are living longer, healthier lives and need to make ends meet just like their younger counterparts. Corporate America must be willing to recognize the pool of talented applicants no matter who old they are.
As a boomer who has returned to the workforce, it'll be interesting to see how this all plays out...AGAIN.
In case you're wondering what ever happened with my younger boss…well, after I left the company, she decided she wanted to be a stay at home mom.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Returning to Work After 50
When I left the news business I was in my late forties. Now that I'm four years shy of 60, I see that so much has changed and I am having to learn how to adapt. I chose not to return to my chosen career of "established media" because, quite frankly, I no longer have the stomach for "breaking news" that starts out with A LOT of half-truths and stations always trying to out do the competition. Furthermore, I was no longer interested in going toe-to-toe with younger, less-talented journalists who always seem to have the advantage because of their "blondeness" and desire to work no matter how little the pay.
I prefer not to say where I'm employed but I will tell you it is a position that is totally out of my comfort zone. As I travel through this leg of my journey I am learning a lot about getting back in the game.
Here are some things for you to consider if you are considering returning to the workforce:
HAVE A CLEAR OBJECTIVE: Know why you are returning to the workforce. To make ends meet is one thing but you should also be thinking about what you would like to accomplish while in your position. Just going through the motions of working from 9 to 5 (or whenever) will ultimately make you unhappy and could lead to your untimely termination.
Once I was hired for the position I'm in, I decided to set a goal and am now striving towards it.
Understand this: THE JOB MARKET HAS CHANGED: Not only are many of the employees half our age, but some of them may end up being our supervisors. That is the situation I am currently in. My managers are just a few years older than my 24-year-old daughter and, honestly, it is hard to appreciate and to see them as my superiors but THEY ARE and if I am going to succeed I am going to have to accept that fact and act accordingly.
LEARN TO BE HUMBLE: I've always been a take charge person so it isn't easy for me to sit back in a subservient role as I am currently having to do. Quite frankly, humility as an employee is something I'm still working on but I do keep my devotional reading with me at all times to remind me of WHOSE I am so I don't get it twisted and end up saying things I will live to regret.
If you have aspirations beyond the job, you will have to learn to swallow your pride, know-how and "I can do it better than you!" attitude sometimes for the greater good.
BE WILLING TO ACCEPT LESS MONEY: The job market today is what I call an "employers' market." They can get away with paying less money for employees because the market is saturated with young, hungry professionals who just want to get a foot in the door so they can begin to navigate their way throughout the company. For many baby boomers, like myself, we have been accustomed to the nice, comfortable salaries that afforded us the opportunities to have beautiful homes, a sizable bank account and take fabulous vacations. That is no longer the case. You must be willing to accept the going rate but I would caution you to NEVER accept minimum wage because it devalues your skills and abilities---especially if you have 20 to 30 years of talent and skills to bring to the table.
HAVE A CLEAR EXIT PLAN: Going back to work is serious business for those of us who are more mature than the average employee. Know why you are returning and have a plan for an exit. Working indefinitely without a plan or purpose only leads to frustration.
In my next post, I'l talk about what it's like to work for younger bosses and how you can use the experience to your advantage.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
What Did Oprah Have that I Did Not
During these boomer years of my life, I have often thought of the success of Oprah Winfrey. I wonder what she had that allowed her to climb the ladder to become the phenomenal business woman and media icon she is today. Umpteen years ago, we both started out on the same path as aspiring journalists. I'm sure we both had drive and determination and, yes, we had to have a self-confidence about our talents and abilities. Although affirmative action opened up many doors in the 70s and early 80s, it wasn't a sure fire guarantee that you would climb the ladder of success once you got your foot in the door.
Unlike Oprah, I wasn't molested as a child and didn't have a baby out of wedlock. I didn't grow up poor with a single mother in the deep south. (Maybe we were poor in Ohio but I never felt it). I wasn't fat either. So how does a young woman with plenty of "perceived" advantages in the Midwest fail to accomplish her goals and dreams nearly 40 years later?
Well, I wouldn't call myself a total failure because I did accomplish many of the things I set out to do and I refused to allow my dark skin color hold me back. But unlike Oprah, I didn't have a true mentor---a white male who recognized my gifts and talents and was willing to mold and shape me into the vision I had of myself. Perhaps it's because I was too radical at an early age. I wasn't going to allow "the man" dictate my road to success, especially since he had no clue of my struggles or ambitions. Plus, I was hell bent on presenting the stories of black people in a favorable light---not as criminals, thugs and poverty-stricken bums.
Unlike Oprah, marriage slowed me down. When I met the man of my dreams, I thought I could have the best of both worlds: a career, husband and family. After all, if Claire Huxtable could do it, why couldn't I? Of course my first marriage turned into a nightmare and I lost some of my drive and determination in the process. On the other hand, When Oprah met Stedman she was content to just have him around when she needed (or wanted) him. And her baby was her dog.
So what did Oprah have that I did not? Oprah, with the help of some good folks along the way, was able to achieve her goals and dreams, along with her undying perseverance, drive and sheer will. I had some of those same characteristics once but no one to help guide me.
If you're a baby boomer woman over the age of 50, it would be easy to live on the would've, could've, should've and to compare yourself to the likes of Oprah. But at this stage of our journey, we must face the hard core reality that time is getting shorter by the minute and it really doesn't make sense to travel down the memory lane of disappointment. While it’s natural to make comparisons, the problem is you end up unhappy, even when you have a good life, marriage, and family. The comparisons make you begin to question what you already have.
No, I didn't achieve the kind of success Oprah did according to the world's standards, but today I am able to look at my strengths as a mature, seasoned woman and see my true value. I will continue to do what I can to make a difference, using the talents and abilities God has blessed me with to help others shine.
It’s actually one of the keys to my success because without it I would have a hard time waking up each day.
Unlike Oprah, I wasn't molested as a child and didn't have a baby out of wedlock. I didn't grow up poor with a single mother in the deep south. (Maybe we were poor in Ohio but I never felt it). I wasn't fat either. So how does a young woman with plenty of "perceived" advantages in the Midwest fail to accomplish her goals and dreams nearly 40 years later?
Well, I wouldn't call myself a total failure because I did accomplish many of the things I set out to do and I refused to allow my dark skin color hold me back. But unlike Oprah, I didn't have a true mentor---a white male who recognized my gifts and talents and was willing to mold and shape me into the vision I had of myself. Perhaps it's because I was too radical at an early age. I wasn't going to allow "the man" dictate my road to success, especially since he had no clue of my struggles or ambitions. Plus, I was hell bent on presenting the stories of black people in a favorable light---not as criminals, thugs and poverty-stricken bums.
Unlike Oprah, marriage slowed me down. When I met the man of my dreams, I thought I could have the best of both worlds: a career, husband and family. After all, if Claire Huxtable could do it, why couldn't I? Of course my first marriage turned into a nightmare and I lost some of my drive and determination in the process. On the other hand, When Oprah met Stedman she was content to just have him around when she needed (or wanted) him. And her baby was her dog.
So what did Oprah have that I did not? Oprah, with the help of some good folks along the way, was able to achieve her goals and dreams, along with her undying perseverance, drive and sheer will. I had some of those same characteristics once but no one to help guide me.
If you're a baby boomer woman over the age of 50, it would be easy to live on the would've, could've, should've and to compare yourself to the likes of Oprah. But at this stage of our journey, we must face the hard core reality that time is getting shorter by the minute and it really doesn't make sense to travel down the memory lane of disappointment. While it’s natural to make comparisons, the problem is you end up unhappy, even when you have a good life, marriage, and family. The comparisons make you begin to question what you already have.
No, I didn't achieve the kind of success Oprah did according to the world's standards, but today I am able to look at my strengths as a mature, seasoned woman and see my true value. I will continue to do what I can to make a difference, using the talents and abilities God has blessed me with to help others shine.
It’s actually one of the keys to my success because without it I would have a hard time waking up each day.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Becoming an Entrepreneur After 50 is Challenging
“Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away. Move on to something else that’s more productive.” – Donald Trump
Walking away from anything is never easy. It wasn't during my first marriage, although I knew it was the best thing for me. It wasn't when I walked away from television news, although I was totally burned out. The same holds true now as I prepare to walk away from my consulting business.
Seven years ago, I had a passion and a vision. Although the vision wasn't in clear focus at the time, I knew I had a media/communications expertise and I wanted to share it with others. I was convinced the "how" part would come over time.
I spent a lot of time networking and trying to get my name out there. I automatically assumed that once people talked to me and looked at my credentials, they would know I was the REAL DEAL and light years above any other competition around.
Initially, I made some great contacts which led to business. That business generated referrals and life was good. I just assumed word of mouth and my hustle would provide a steady income but that would not be the case. Here are some of the lessons I've learned:
Know Your Market: This means knowing more than the people you want to sell or provide a service to. You need to understand the community you live in and what the trends may be for what you offer. Being black and female is definitely not an advantage in the South. A few "tokens" get through but unless you're truly connected, you will find yourself operating in the red more often than the black. How ironic!
Network in the Right Circles: This may take some time because when you first get into the networking game, you'll find yourself going to many different events to find your perfect fit. I spent way too much time networking in the WRONG circles, only to discover that someone else who offered similar services was being heavily promoted by someone who was highly respecting Inside our 919 community.
Don't Sell Yourself Short: Often times business failures results from the sales of goods and services below cost price. Sometimes in business, cash crunch, fierce competition or economic factor make businesses sell their goods below cost price and this can ruin your business. It certainly did mine.
Be Adaptable to Change: Change is constant, so you either you align your business with the trend and ride to the top or you remain stagnant and eventually fold up. You also need to constantly upgrade your technological strengths as swiftly as possible.
Lack of True Entrepreneurial Skills: When an entrepreneur lacks the necessary skills such as leadership skill, cash flow management, sales, persistence and self belief and so on; such an entrepreneur is bound to fail. An entrepreneur is the head and pilot of the business. I had the leadership and persistence skills but lacked a steady cash flow and sales.
When you know the odds are stacked against you sometimes the best thing to do is walk away but DON'T EVER GIVE UP. I don't want to make the excuse that aging, race, or sex had anything to do with my failure to succeed as a boomerpreneur. After all, I'm Beverly Mahone--a boomer woman on the move and making a difference at midlife.
I have moved on.
Walking away from anything is never easy. It wasn't during my first marriage, although I knew it was the best thing for me. It wasn't when I walked away from television news, although I was totally burned out. The same holds true now as I prepare to walk away from my consulting business.
Seven years ago, I had a passion and a vision. Although the vision wasn't in clear focus at the time, I knew I had a media/communications expertise and I wanted to share it with others. I was convinced the "how" part would come over time.
I spent a lot of time networking and trying to get my name out there. I automatically assumed that once people talked to me and looked at my credentials, they would know I was the REAL DEAL and light years above any other competition around.
Initially, I made some great contacts which led to business. That business generated referrals and life was good. I just assumed word of mouth and my hustle would provide a steady income but that would not be the case. Here are some of the lessons I've learned:
Know Your Market: This means knowing more than the people you want to sell or provide a service to. You need to understand the community you live in and what the trends may be for what you offer. Being black and female is definitely not an advantage in the South. A few "tokens" get through but unless you're truly connected, you will find yourself operating in the red more often than the black. How ironic!
Network in the Right Circles: This may take some time because when you first get into the networking game, you'll find yourself going to many different events to find your perfect fit. I spent way too much time networking in the WRONG circles, only to discover that someone else who offered similar services was being heavily promoted by someone who was highly respecting Inside our 919 community.
Don't Sell Yourself Short: Often times business failures results from the sales of goods and services below cost price. Sometimes in business, cash crunch, fierce competition or economic factor make businesses sell their goods below cost price and this can ruin your business. It certainly did mine.
Be Adaptable to Change: Change is constant, so you either you align your business with the trend and ride to the top or you remain stagnant and eventually fold up. You also need to constantly upgrade your technological strengths as swiftly as possible.
Lack of True Entrepreneurial Skills: When an entrepreneur lacks the necessary skills such as leadership skill, cash flow management, sales, persistence and self belief and so on; such an entrepreneur is bound to fail. An entrepreneur is the head and pilot of the business. I had the leadership and persistence skills but lacked a steady cash flow and sales.
When you know the odds are stacked against you sometimes the best thing to do is walk away but DON'T EVER GIVE UP. I don't want to make the excuse that aging, race, or sex had anything to do with my failure to succeed as a boomerpreneur. After all, I'm Beverly Mahone--a boomer woman on the move and making a difference at midlife.
I have moved on.
Sunday, October 06, 2013
What Happens When Your Entrepreneurial Light Starts to Fade After 50
My last day in a television newsroom was March 26, 2006. I decided to take a huge leap of faith and do what I love on my own terms. Plus I was totally sick of “breaking news” and the sensationalism and inaccuracy of the news business.
Three months later, my first book was published: Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age. It told my life story as a 40-something year-old woman dealing with subjects like working for younger know-it-alls, being back on the dating scene after 40 and suffering through menopause---all kinds of drama. With the book came a book tour, television appearances and speaking engagements. All of a sudden I was a go-to gal for baby boomers and I became a baby boomer expert. Life was good. PLUS the book became a best seller on Amazon.
From there, I created Boomer Diva Nation and started connecting with other women in my age group who were doing wonderful things to make a difference in their lives and the lives of others. I also became an entrepreneur and formed a consulting start-up known as BAMedia. As a media consultant, I offered my expertise to my fellow boomers to help them get a leg up in their businesses. My motto was: “If it’s your time to shine, I can help you turn on the spotlight.”
I was networking my behind off. If there was an event, I was there trying to be seen AND heard. I wanted others to see my gifts, talents and expertise. I wanted them to know I had what they needed. I wanted to help them.
Two things I know FOR SURE about me: 1) I am a natural when it comes to being able to communicate. 2) I love helping others shine and helping them tell their own stories.
I was so sure this was the journey I was supposed to on. But as they say, a funny thing happened on the way to.....
In my case, a not-so-funny-thing-happened-on-the-way-to-success.
I thought I had an entrepreneurial spirit that was shining so brightly that people around me would have to wear sunglasses just to be in my presence. But little did I know, spirit is not the same as heart.
So what went wrong? Stay tuned for the next post.
Three months later, my first book was published: Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age. It told my life story as a 40-something year-old woman dealing with subjects like working for younger know-it-alls, being back on the dating scene after 40 and suffering through menopause---all kinds of drama. With the book came a book tour, television appearances and speaking engagements. All of a sudden I was a go-to gal for baby boomers and I became a baby boomer expert. Life was good. PLUS the book became a best seller on Amazon.
From there, I created Boomer Diva Nation and started connecting with other women in my age group who were doing wonderful things to make a difference in their lives and the lives of others. I also became an entrepreneur and formed a consulting start-up known as BAMedia. As a media consultant, I offered my expertise to my fellow boomers to help them get a leg up in their businesses. My motto was: “If it’s your time to shine, I can help you turn on the spotlight.”
I was networking my behind off. If there was an event, I was there trying to be seen AND heard. I wanted others to see my gifts, talents and expertise. I wanted them to know I had what they needed. I wanted to help them.
Two things I know FOR SURE about me: 1) I am a natural when it comes to being able to communicate. 2) I love helping others shine and helping them tell their own stories.
I was so sure this was the journey I was supposed to on. But as they say, a funny thing happened on the way to.....
In my case, a not-so-funny-thing-happened-on-the-way-to-success.
I thought I had an entrepreneurial spirit that was shining so brightly that people around me would have to wear sunglasses just to be in my presence. But little did I know, spirit is not the same as heart.
So what went wrong? Stay tuned for the next post.
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