What Did Oprah Have that I Did Not

During these boomer years of my life, I have often thought of the success of Oprah Winfrey. I wonder what she had that allowed her to climb the ladder to become the phenomenal business woman and media icon she is today. Umpteen years ago, we both started out on the same path as aspiring journalists. I'm sure we both had drive and determination and, yes, we had to have a self-confidence about our talents and abilities. Although affirmative action opened up many doors in the 70s and early 80s, it wasn't a sure fire guarantee that you would climb the ladder of success once you got your foot in the door.

Unlike Oprah, I wasn't molested as a child and didn't have a baby out of wedlock. I didn't grow up poor with a single mother in the deep south. (Maybe we were poor in Ohio but I never felt it). I wasn't fat either. So how does a young woman with plenty of "perceived" advantages in the Midwest fail to accomplish her goals and dreams nearly 40 years later?

Well, I wouldn't call myself a total failure because I did accomplish many of the things I set out to do and I refused to allow my dark skin color hold me back. But unlike Oprah, I didn't have a true mentor---a white male who recognized my gifts and talents and was willing to mold and shape me into the vision I had of myself. Perhaps it's because I was too radical at an early age. I wasn't going to allow "the man" dictate my road to success, especially since he had no clue of my struggles or ambitions. Plus, I was hell bent on presenting the stories of black people in a favorable light---not as criminals, thugs and poverty-stricken bums.

Unlike Oprah, marriage slowed me down. When I met the man of my dreams, I thought I could have the best of both worlds: a career, husband and family. After all, if Claire Huxtable could do it, why couldn't I? Of course my first marriage turned into a nightmare and I lost some of my drive and determination in the process. On the other hand, When Oprah met Stedman she was content to just have him around when she needed (or wanted) him. And her baby was her dog.

So what did Oprah have that I did not? Oprah, with the help of some good folks along the way, was able to achieve her goals and dreams, along with her undying perseverance, drive and sheer will. I had some of those same characteristics once but no one to help guide me.

If you're a baby boomer woman over the age of 50, it would be easy to live on the would've, could've, should've and to compare yourself to the likes of Oprah. But at this stage of our journey, we must face the hard core reality that time is getting shorter by the minute and it really doesn't make sense to travel down the memory lane of disappointment. While it’s natural to make comparisons, the problem is you end up unhappy, even when you have a good life, marriage, and family. The comparisons make you begin to question what you already have.

No, I didn't achieve the kind of success Oprah did according to the world's standards, but today I am able to look at my strengths as a mature, seasoned woman and see my true value. I will continue to do what I can to make a difference, using the talents and abilities God has blessed me with to help others shine.

It’s actually one of the keys to my success because without it I would have a hard time waking up each day.

Oprah Does it Her Way

When the queen of Daytime TV announced this week that she would end her show on September 9, 2011 after 25 years on the air, it came as no surprise to me. I actually knew this information several months ago---thanks to an interview I did with a woman who spent a year on the Oprah Show back in 2006. Lisa Bradley told me back in May that Oprah was ending her show in 2011 and she said it again when she spoke as the Luncheon Keynote Speaker for the kick-off of our Boomer Diva Nation Conference just last month.

For a quarter of a century, Oprah has introduced us to some of the most interesting guests. She has also given us an up close and personal look into the lives of some of our favorite celebrities. The Talk Show Diva has also proven that she can turn an average person into a household name (Iyanla Van Zant, Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil) and turn writers into best selling authors---even when they didn't deserve it (remember James Frey?)

Meanwhile, her critics are saying she's lost much of her appeal--due largely in part to the fact that she endorsed Barack Obama for President. Some in the African-American community have accused her of selling out to please White America. Well, you can say what you want about Oprah but the truth of the matter is, her name is associated with power and influence and this baby boomer EARNED every bit of it without a government bailout.

Listen Up Tavis: You're not Oprah!

I guess it’s my turn to weigh on the controversy surrounding Obama’s no-show at the annual State of the Black Union forum hosted by Tavis Smiley in New Orleans last Saturday. As a veteran journalist, I have an opinion on the actions of my fellow journalist and baby boomer.

Tavis apparently asked Barack Obama to be a part of the forum but Obama declined. In a letter to Tavis’ people Obama said, “In the final stretch, I will be on the campaign trail every day in states like Ohio, Texas and Wisconsin talking directly with voters about the causes that are at the heart of my campaign and the State of the Black Union forum. That is why, with regret, I am not able to attend the forum."

Tavis took offense to Obama’s decision not to attend, saying "I think it is a miscalculation on his part not to appear and a missed opportunity."

There were also reports that Michelle Obama offered to go in her husband’s place but she wasn’t apparently good enough. She was good enough for The View but not for Tavis’ fancy soiree---where only the cream of the crop in the African-American community were invited to grace the stage in his presence.

I guess Tavis just figured he was important enough to have Barack Obama drop his campaign tour schedule just for him. I guess he forgot that Obama is trying to win votes from registered voters of ALL races in two of the most important states to date. Sure Hillary showed up but she did so because of her eroding support in the African-American community.

Funny how some people perceive themselves to be larger than life and want you to believe the world must evolve around them. Tavis Smiley shot himself in the foot when he attacked Obama for not coming to his shin-dig.

Listen up Tavis: Obama’s appearance at your forum probably wouldn’t have changed many minds one way or the other. You probably just wanted him there for “show and tell” so you could make your baby boomer buddies think how big and powerful you are.

Honey, you’re not Oprah.

An Open Letter to Oprah: "You're Not Alone, My Sister."

Dear Oprah,

When you recently announced you had a problem with your thyroid, I immediately thought, “Welcome to my world.” I’ve been suffering from hypothyroidism for several years now. As a matter of fact, there are more than 10 million of us (90 percent women) struggling with this disease. And believe me when I tell you, it can be a STRUGGLE. An underactive thyroid often results in weight gain, fatigue, depression and other symptoms.

Oprah, I have to be honest with you, I never gave one thought to my thyroid gland in the past. I didn’t even know where it was because that wasn’t one of the things that ever got checked during my “routine” annual exams.

I heard you say your condition was triggered by stress. Girlfriend, so was mine! Being in a loveless marriage and the sole provider for a child---coupled with working in a thankless job sent my thyroid into overdrive. I know those weren’t YOUR issues, which just goes to show you stress comes in all kinds of ways.

Initially, I was diagnosed with hyperthyroid---also known as Graves Disease. That’s when your thyroid glands are TOO active. I was walking around with bulging red eyes, looking like I was high all the time. To make matters worse, I was jittery and had a hard time focusing. That would sound like a drug addict to me. I was a mess!

The only course of treatment for me, according to my doctor, was to have the radioactive iodine therapy. The name sounds lethal doesn’t it? But I believed it saved my life. Now I am resigned to spending the rest of my life taking a drug called Synthroid. Oh, and I’m battling the battle of the bulge with vengeance.

You know, I’m really glad you came forward with this news. You have the kind of power that can make a difference in how this disease is treated by medical professionals, the media and society in general.

It’s always something though—isn’t it bad enough that we also have to deal with menopause?

Oh well…so goes life.

Who is Beverly Mahone?

Beverly ’s own mid-life journey began a little more than two years ago. She was a divorced mom attempting to raise a teenager alone, while maintaining her career as a television journalist. Then she found herself dealing with emotional and physical struggles she couldn’t quite get a handle on. The struggles of weight gain, forgetfulness, mood swings and depression seemed to be overwhelming at times. To top it all off, her body temperature seemed to be out of control more and more frequently. As a result of these symptoms, Beverly started a journal as a form of therapy and later learned through her gynecologist that she was in the early stages of menopause. It was at that point that she decided to reclaim her life by learning ways to overcome what seemed like a no-win situation at the time.

Prior to the book being published, Beverly ’s life appeared to be spinning out of control. Her depression, mood swings and hot flashes were getting worse. Coupled with that was the fact that she was passed over for a promotion at work by a woman ten years younger, making her feel even less significant in life. It wasn’t long after, that Beverly decided to call it quits after more than 25 years as a journalist. At that point, she became more determined than ever to prove to herself that she could overcome the fears of growing older that plagued her. She joined a health club and began working out. She started dating again and has discovered a new ministry with her writing.


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