We are the baby boomers who grew up with drugs, sex and rock-n-roll. Woodstock gave many free thinkers the opportunity to express themselves with their bodies. So what’s wrong with those of us who still have a healthy appetite for sex?
According to a survey conducted by Harris Interactive(R) of 2,000 married baby boomer men and women between the ages of 40-70, physical intimacy was determined to be as important now as it’s ever been. As a matter of fact, 84 percent of baby boomers rank physical intimacy as being important or very important. The number of boomers in the survey who rank physical intimacy as important to a successful relationship is higher than having enough money (72 percent) or even good health (78 percent).
The survey also found that only half (50 percent) of boomers surveyed are satisfied with the physical intimacy in their relationship, and 41 percent of men and 43 percent of women desire more emotional intimacy in their relationships.
Those of us who enjoy intimacy understand that great sex is the result of an excellent relationship, not the cause of it. Both women and men know being a good lover is not a matter of having extra-large physical equipment, knowing the "correct" technique, or being able to last all night. It's a matter of knowing, understanding and caring for your partner. It’s the tenderness and caressing. It’s also a matter of communication. Letting your partner know what turns you on and guiding him/her to your pleasure spots goes a long way in keeping the flames of passion well lit.
If you want to know how your baby boomer partner can light your fire, check out this article on Eons.com
Showing posts with label intimacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label intimacy. Show all posts
Friday, June 20, 2008
Friday, February 23, 2007
Intimacy is more than Sex at Middle Age
During a recent women’s forum I attended one of the questions posed to me was “Is there a difference love-making and making love?” I had to give it some thought but then I decided the answer was “Yes, there IS a difference.” Love-making, in my opinion, is a physical act between two people. Making love, on the other hand, goes much deeper into the spiritual connection between the couple.
It’s the same with comparing sex and intimacy. Intimacy is more than sex or making love. It's more of a combination of the physical AND emotional connection you feel with your partner. Intimacy involves a soul connection between two people.
While instant chemistry can be exciting and thrilling, the chemistry that makes marriages work usually grows over time. This special chemistry between two people involves excellent communication and self sacrifice more than physical attraction. It takes trust, patience, and willingness to talk and to listen.
With greater intimacy, married partners tend to have a more satisfying and fulfilling romantic life. They learn how to do the things that please each other. They learn how to communicate. Being able to express what you want is important and genuinely listening to your spouse are key factors in building an intimate romance.
So how can you grow in intimacy with your marriage partner? Here are some keys to unlock the mystery of deeper intimacy.
Determine what you really need out of the relationship. Is friendship more important than financial stability? Or must the bills be paid on time even if your spouse doesn’t have much time with you? Can you sacrifice long conversations for more affectionate behavior? Or do you need to talk things out no matter how long it takes? The list can go on.
Determine what your spouse really needs. At first your husband or wife may be reluctant to share what he or she needs. They may have never really thought about it in an organized fashion. Maybe it would help to have him/her write down his/her desires when he/she is relaxed. Some suggestions: do a really nice deed for your partner like, drawing a warm bath or cooking a nice meal. Then ask them to take the time to think about what they need in the relationship.
Make an effort to change your behavior everyday. If your partner needs more space, draw back a little. If they need more of your time, tune out any distractions and pay attention to your spouse. You may start with fifteen or twenty minutes with no TV, phone, computer, radio, etc. and then gradually increase your time to one to two hours of uninterrupted time per day.
Finally, take care of yourself. If you are frustrated, you won’t be a fun person to be around. Make sure that you have your own “me” time everyday where you can pray, meditate, and take care of your personal needs. Whether it’s writing in a journal, reading a good book, going to the spa or just doing nothing at all, give yourself some space so when you come back together, you’ll appreciate each other even more.
Beverly Mahone is a veteran journalist, author and motivational speaker who writes about issues affecting baby boomers in her book, "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age."
It’s the same with comparing sex and intimacy. Intimacy is more than sex or making love. It's more of a combination of the physical AND emotional connection you feel with your partner. Intimacy involves a soul connection between two people.
While instant chemistry can be exciting and thrilling, the chemistry that makes marriages work usually grows over time. This special chemistry between two people involves excellent communication and self sacrifice more than physical attraction. It takes trust, patience, and willingness to talk and to listen.
With greater intimacy, married partners tend to have a more satisfying and fulfilling romantic life. They learn how to do the things that please each other. They learn how to communicate. Being able to express what you want is important and genuinely listening to your spouse are key factors in building an intimate romance.
So how can you grow in intimacy with your marriage partner? Here are some keys to unlock the mystery of deeper intimacy.
Determine what you really need out of the relationship. Is friendship more important than financial stability? Or must the bills be paid on time even if your spouse doesn’t have much time with you? Can you sacrifice long conversations for more affectionate behavior? Or do you need to talk things out no matter how long it takes? The list can go on.
Determine what your spouse really needs. At first your husband or wife may be reluctant to share what he or she needs. They may have never really thought about it in an organized fashion. Maybe it would help to have him/her write down his/her desires when he/she is relaxed. Some suggestions: do a really nice deed for your partner like, drawing a warm bath or cooking a nice meal. Then ask them to take the time to think about what they need in the relationship.
Make an effort to change your behavior everyday. If your partner needs more space, draw back a little. If they need more of your time, tune out any distractions and pay attention to your spouse. You may start with fifteen or twenty minutes with no TV, phone, computer, radio, etc. and then gradually increase your time to one to two hours of uninterrupted time per day.
Finally, take care of yourself. If you are frustrated, you won’t be a fun person to be around. Make sure that you have your own “me” time everyday where you can pray, meditate, and take care of your personal needs. Whether it’s writing in a journal, reading a good book, going to the spa or just doing nothing at all, give yourself some space so when you come back together, you’ll appreciate each other even more.
Beverly Mahone is a veteran journalist, author and motivational speaker who writes about issues affecting baby boomers in her book, "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age."
Thursday, November 02, 2006
"Not tonight Honey, I'm all dried-up!"
OK...that's probably not something you would say to your mate but if you're going to be honest and real, that is the case sometimes when it comes to intimacy.
As women age, there is a decrease in our hormone levels which causes changes in our vaginal tissue. It becomes thinner and less elastic. There is less vaginal wetness even when we become aroused. Sex can become uncomfortable--even painful for some. But there is relief in various creams and gels.
These are issues men don't understand unless we are willing to establish an open dialogue. It's the same with them. As they age, an erection is not as easy to attain and they don't want to let on to their mate that there is a problem. That's why Viagra was invented.
OK...So here is another reason why you should purchase a copy of Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age on November 16th.
Excerpt from Chapter One:
Some people call it a midlife crisis. I call it cruel and unusual punishment. My middle-age years have resulted in some spreading, sagging and cellulite--- while my breasts, belly and lap are getting better acquainted. Gone are the days when I could chow down at the all-you-can-eat buffets and never gain a pound. All those burgers, fries, pork chops, ribs, fried chicken and late night cocktails seem to have caught up with me. These days everything I eat goes straight to my waistline. Sometimes all I have to do is look at food and I gain weight. Over a two year period, I gained about twenty-five pounds. That may not sound like a lot to you, but for a diva who bragged about being a Miss Size Four it was very traumatic!
My doctor said the weight gain is a result of my metabolism slowing down. It’s all a part of the aging process. But there is good news according to her. “Just cut back on your calorie intake, Beverly, and exercise,” she said. “That will keep your weight under control.” Oh, that’s just great. Not only do I have to eat like a bird but then I have to sweat like a pig in the gym!
As women age, there is a decrease in our hormone levels which causes changes in our vaginal tissue. It becomes thinner and less elastic. There is less vaginal wetness even when we become aroused. Sex can become uncomfortable--even painful for some. But there is relief in various creams and gels.
These are issues men don't understand unless we are willing to establish an open dialogue. It's the same with them. As they age, an erection is not as easy to attain and they don't want to let on to their mate that there is a problem. That's why Viagra was invented.
OK...So here is another reason why you should purchase a copy of Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age on November 16th.
Excerpt from Chapter One:
Some people call it a midlife crisis. I call it cruel and unusual punishment. My middle-age years have resulted in some spreading, sagging and cellulite--- while my breasts, belly and lap are getting better acquainted. Gone are the days when I could chow down at the all-you-can-eat buffets and never gain a pound. All those burgers, fries, pork chops, ribs, fried chicken and late night cocktails seem to have caught up with me. These days everything I eat goes straight to my waistline. Sometimes all I have to do is look at food and I gain weight. Over a two year period, I gained about twenty-five pounds. That may not sound like a lot to you, but for a diva who bragged about being a Miss Size Four it was very traumatic!
My doctor said the weight gain is a result of my metabolism slowing down. It’s all a part of the aging process. But there is good news according to her. “Just cut back on your calorie intake, Beverly, and exercise,” she said. “That will keep your weight under control.” Oh, that’s just great. Not only do I have to eat like a bird but then I have to sweat like a pig in the gym!
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